Page 106 of The Revenge Game
I follow him into the kitchen, where the scent of the spaghetti sauce wraps around me like a welcome.
Justin’s at the stovetop, stirring a saucepan. He turns to give me a smile.
“Here.” He holds out a spoon. “Tell me if it needs anything.”
The sauce is perfect, of course.
“I think you already know it’s amazing,” I say after swallowing.
His eyes crinkle at the corners. “Maybe I just like watching your face when you try my cooking.”
“Careful, that ego of yours will need its own zip code soon.”
“Too late. It already has one. Sends me postcards occasionally, usually bragging about the weather.”
I laugh, and his smile transforms his whole face.
“How was your day?” I ask, partly to distract myself from the guilt gnawing at my insides.
Justin’s shoulders stiffen as he turns back to the stove. “I actually spent most of it researching face blindness. It’s kind of crazy, you know? Finding out there’s actually a name for something you’ve been dealing with your whole life.”
“How are you feeling about it?”
“Honestly? I’m mostly relieved. Like…all these things I blamed myself for finally make sense.” He adds a splash of wine to the sauce, the alcohol sizzling as it hits the pan. “But now I’m even more terrified about our customer Christmas function at the end of next week. We’ve got over two hundred customers coming, and I’m supposed to know who all the important ones are.”
“Have you thought about strategies that might help?”
“Besides hiring a town crier to announce everyone as they arrive?” He turns back to me with a grin, but this one doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “I’ve been going through LinkedIn photos, trying to memorize people’s distinguishing features. Like Janet always wears statement necklaces or Mike has that weird handlebar mustache.” He stirs the sauce slowly. “But what if Janet decides to go minimalist that day? What if Mike finally listens to his wife and shaves?”
Studying Justin’s profile and how he’s biting his lip makes me realize how much this is affecting him. I can’t imagine having to walk into a room full of people you’re supposed to impress when you’ve got this kind of disadvantage.
The idea hits me like a lightning bolt.
Facial recognition software combined with a discreet notification system… I could build something that would help Justin navigate social situations without anyone knowing. Usemy skills for something good instead of…whatever this revenge plot has morphed into.
“You’ve managed to cope until now,” I say, pushing my glasses up my nose to try to hide the excitement building inside me.
“Yeah, but that was before I knew what this was. Now… It’s like I’m re-examining everything….” He trails off, focusing intently on the sauce. “I’m sure I’ve hurt lots of people without meaning to. People would have assumed I was being deliberately cruel when really I just couldn’t recognize them.”
The weight of his words settles in my chest.
Seeing Justin’s distress at the thought of hurting people really makes me want to ask him what he remembers about bullying me. Because that wasn’t unintentional hurt. He knew what he was doing.
Does he regret it in hindsight? Even if he doesn’t know it was me he bullied, the Justin I know now must regret hurting Andrew Yates, right?
“You can’t do anything to change the past now,” I say, and I have to ignore the cackle of ironic laughter I’m sure the universe is giving right now. “And you never meant to hurt someone by not recognizing them.”
“Do intentions actually matter if the impact on people is the same?” Justin asks quietly.
His words strike me like bullets.
“I don’t think accidentally hurting someone is the same as deliberately hurting someone,” I say.
Shit. I don’t really want to examine that idea too closely right now. I run my hand through my hair.
“I think we’ve all got a mixture of good and bad inside us,” I continue slowly. “What’s that old proverb? There is a battle of the good and bad wolf inside us, and the one that wins is the one you feed.”
Justin’s eyes meet mine, startlingly intense. “Sometimes I feel like I spent so many years feeding the wrong wolf. Being who other people wanted me to be instead of… Instead of who I actually am. Do you know what I mean?”
