Page 125 of The Revenge Game
“I know it was you. I know the guy I bullied was exactly like you. And trust me, listening to you talk about how you felt in high school makes me feel even more guilty.”
Fuck. He thinks I’m just talking generically.
My hands drop away from my face, and I turn to him.
His gaze is fixed on me, and whatever he sees in my expression causes him to blanch.
“I know, Drew, okay? I know exactly what I did. And I know I did exactly what Bobby Ray was doing to me, like I was passing on an infection or something. Falling in love with you has made me think about it all again, and I feel even more shitty about it, all the homophobic things I said and did, all the times I should have intervened but didn’t.”
“No, Justin…” I start to protest, to tell him the real truth, but then his sentence replays in my head. “Wait, what did you just say?”
His forehead furrows. “I said I’ve realized how shitty it was that I bullied someone like you in high school.”
My mouth is so dry I have to swallow before I can get words out. “I’m thinking more about where you said something about falling in love with me.”
Color floods his face. But his gaze doesn’t leave mine.
“I love you,” he says.
Oh my god.
I can’t breathe. My chest constricts, caught between the urge to laugh and cry and possibly pass out.
“Sorry. I know you deserve a better declaration of love than that, but it doesn’t diminish how true it is.”
Justin’s hands are trembling, but his shoulders are set. He’s got that same look he had at the Christmas party right before he kissed me under the mistletoe, like he’s terrified but not backing down.
“I love you, Drew. I know you’re going to say it’s just because you’re the first guy I’ve been with or that I only feel this way because of the incredible sex we have, but it’s more than that. Way more than that.
“I love the little crease you get between your eyebrows when you disagree with whatever you’re reading.
“I love the way you’ll stack and restack the dishwasher to get the maximum amount in there.
“I love the little smile you get when you take your first sip of hot chocolate.
“I love how you negotiate territory rights with my cats over your favorite spot on the couch and talk to them like they’re people.
“I love the way you’re interested in random history facts and how you make everything so much more interesting.
“I love the way you really listen to me and how you kiss me like nothing else on the planet matters.”
I make a noise in my throat that’s somewhere between a whimper and a sob.
“I love how nothing in my life feels like it really matters unless I share it with you.
“I love you, and I’ve never been in love before, and it’s nerve-wracking and scary, but somehow you make it okay.”
He’s sitting there, staring at me with those gorgeous eyes, looking like someone stepping into unknown territory armed only with hope.
Oh my fucking god.
These feelings I’ve been choking down for so long, these feelings I’ve tried to pretend are just a normal part of this elaborate revenge scheme, suddenly overwhelm my defenses.
Justin’s telling me he loves me. And I know with complete and utter certainty that I love him too.
I’ve gone and fallen in love with Justin Morris.
It turns out I suck at this revenge thing. Epically.
