Page 126 of The Revenge Game
Because falling in love with Justin Morris definitely wasn’t part of my plan. In fact, it feels like the universe’s ultimate plot twist.
Justin is brave enough to voice this, putting his heart on display, while I’ve been too scared to even admit to myself what these feelings mean.
My self-esteem was so low I didn’t see what was happening between us clearly. I thought Justin and I could do the casual thing, that he would get sick of me before he figured out that the helpful IT guy was actually the kid whose life he made hell in high school.
I never thought I could be someone Justin Morris would fall in love with. I’m supposed to be a smart guy. But it turns out I’m an absolute idiot.
The reality of the situation hits me.
I’ve been justifying not telling Justin for all sorts of reasons. Now I’ve got another one.
I can’t tell Justin that the first guy he’s fallen in love with has been lying to him the whole time.
“And I don’t expect you to say it back,” Justin is still speaking, more words falling from those perfect lips, each one twisting deeper into my chest like a glass shard. “But I just wanted you to know.”
Lying is like building a house of cards. Each new deception has to be placed more carefully than the last until you’re so focused on keeping everything from collapsing that you forget what it feels like to stand on solid ground.
And now Justin’s just knocked down everything I’ve built with three simple words. Leaving me with nothing but the truth I can’t tell him and the love I can’t deny.
“I love you too.” My tone of voice sounds so wrong to deliver that message. It’s abrupt, desperate. Like it’s coming from a deep part of me that has apparently kept track of every shared smile, every touch, every time he’s made me feel like I’m the most important person to him.
The part of me that knows exactly how difficult it is to find this type of connection in this world.
Seeing the absolute joy and happiness on his face in response to my words makes me feel like I’m witnessing something miraculous and devastating. It’s like watching a sunrise, knowing it’s the last one I’ll ever see.
Because this thing between Justin and me is real.
And it’s going to destroy us both.
What have I done?
WHAT HAVE I DONE?
Chapter Thirty-Four
Andrew
I pace my living room, my hands tugging at the ends of my hair. It’s nearly midnight, so my best and worst Christmas Day is just ending.
I had to plead sickness to Justin for why I didn’t want to stay overnight. But even then, he offered to nurse me through my illness. Because, you know, that’s what happens when someone loves you. They want to take care of you when you’re not feeling well.
I had to tell him my digestive system was staging an uprising that would make the French Revolution look like a polite disagreement and that for the sake of his bathroom’s air quality, it was better if I suffered alone.
It’s a lie, but hey, what’s one more lie to add to the whole bunch between us?
I’ve left eight urgent messages with Leo telling him to call me, but I know he’s flown home for Christmas, so returning my call might not be high on his agenda.
My phone beeps with a message, and I leap on it, hoping it’s Leo. But it’s from my friend Matthew.
His message is simple.
Best Christmas ever.
I stare at the photo of him with his boyfriend, Liam, both wearing massive smiles. They’re holding out their hands, showing matching engagement rings, with a puppy snuggled between them.
God, it’s not exactly what I need right now.
I stare at Matthew’s and Liam’s happy faces. They were childhood enemies, absolutely loathed each other from all accounts, until Matthew accidentally hired Liam to be his date for his company retreat.
