Page 40 of The Revenge Game
But while I enjoy joking around with Drew, I have a serious worry about my misbehaving technology.
I gnaw my lip. “The trade show is next week, and it’s really important my sales presentation doesn’t mess up. Roger is offering incentives for every new customer we get, and I really need the extra cash.”
Drew stares at me for a few seconds. “Do your cats need a gold-plated cat tower? I hear that’s all the rage among the feline elite these days.”
“Ah yeah…you got it in one. Tabitha has also been demanding a personal chef who specializes in gourmet tuna preparations.”
Drew smiles. A proper, genuine smile.
And it’s that smile that spurs me on.
Because I really want to share more of the real me with Drew.
I run my hand through my hair. “Actually, it’s slightly more complicated than that,” I blurt.
Drew’s dark eyes lock onto mine. The intensity in his gaze makes me want to keep talking.
“My mom’s car decided to die last week. If my bonus is decent, I can help her get something more reliable. She needs to travel to get to her job, and I hate the thought of her breaking down in the middle of nowhere.”
Drew blinks at me.
“So…yeah, I’d really appreciate it if my laptop doesn’t start narrating my slides in what sounds like Darth Vader having an existential crisis.”
My attempt to end with humor doesn’t really land. Something conflicted passes over Drew’s face before his expression switches back to neutral.
“You should be okay,” he says. “But I can do some more diagnostics if you want. Just double-check there’s nothing that will derail your presentation.”
“Sure. That would be great, thanks.”
I smile, and Drew gives me a hesitant one back.
“I should get started on those checks,” Drew says, already backing away from my desk.
After he leaves, I find myself replaying our conversation, going back over every word and expression.
“You better pray to God you turn out normal, boy. I’m not raising some pansy who can’t even look at a girl right.”
The voice is nagging, insistent.
Somehow, it’s easier to push that voice out of my head after spending time with Drew. Because the idea that someone like Drew deserves scorn is just so…wrong.
Drew, who has the nickname Techno-Genius because he’s so good at his job, who always explains things without making people feel stupid for not knowing.
Drew, who apparently spent three hours recovering Sarah from Accounting’s accidentally deleted wedding photos, refusing to give up until he’d retrieved every single one.
Drew, who last week helped Pete salvage a corrupted presentation five minutes before a client meeting, then spent his lunch break teaching him backup strategies.
Repressing my sexuality was initially all about self-preservation. I was living with a homophobe, someone who was already making my life a living hell if I did anything that deviated from his perception of what a proper man did.
And as much as I’ve tried to do everything I can to escape Bobby Ray, his voice still lives inside me.
I like how the more I get to know Drew, the easier it is to challenge the voice in my head. Drew’s presence always makes Bobby Ray’s voice grow fainter, like bad reception on an old radio.
But haven’t I always been worried about what my workmates would think if I started dating men? I work in a male-dominated industry selling sporting goods.
How long until the jokes would start? The sideways glances in the locker room at the gym, the whispered comments when I’m giving presentations? I’ve spent three years building my reputation here, becoming the guy everyone wants to grab a beer with. Would that stay the same after I came out?
How would Dave and Pete react if they found out I’ve been effectively lying to them ever since they met me?
