Page 72 of The Revenge Game
I’ve suddenly realized exactly what my stomach aerobics around Justin actually mean.
They’re not only because he’s so gorgeous.
I’m developing feelings for Justin Morris. Not friendship feelings, not revenge-plot feelings, but actual heart-racing, palm-sweating, completely inappropriate romantic feelings.
When Leo was talking about creating rules for Revenge Club, we didn’t get around to establishing them all, but I’m fairly sureDon’t develop a crush on the straight guy you’re getting revenge onwill be high on the list.
I’m going to have to end this before I fall deeper into my crush. But do I end it by telling Justin the truth? Or do I simply walk away?
The thought of changing the way Justin looks at me makes my chest hurt.
But then, so does the thought of walking away.
I push all those thoughts out of my mind.
Because right now, I’m going to stop analyzing everything and just enjoy being in the moment.
There will be plenty of time for regrets tomorrow.
Chapter Twenty
Justin
This is the best night of my life. Hands down.
Drew and I linger over dessert. He gets a chocolate creation that probably required an advanced engineering degree to construct, and I get a deconstructed tiramisu that looks more like modern art than dessert, each element carefully placed with tweezers.
We trade bites and make terrible jokes about our food.
“You know what I love about fancy restaurants?” Drew asks, gesturing around with his spoon.
“What?”
“How they give these elaborate descriptions for everything. Like this isn’t just chocolate, it’s a ‘symphony of hand-selected cacao beans performed by an orchestra of pastry chefs.’”
“Next, they’ll tell us the chocolate was personally serenaded during its tempering process,” I say, and Drew’s resulting laugh warms my chest.
I’ve never felt so…free.
I feel I can say anything to Drew, and it turns out there’s so much I want to tell him.
I want to talk to him more about Bobby Ray, about some of the things that happened in those years, tell him how hard it is to shut down Bobby Ray’s voice inside my head.
But it feels wrong to taint this magical night by talking more about Bobby Ray.
It’s enough to have the knowledge that I can tell Drew in the future. To know there’s someone I trust enough to share my history with.
I’m like a dog who’s rolled over on my back. I want to show all parts of myself to Drew for him to see.
Including telling him I’m gay.
Saying the word inside my head is so much easier now in Drew’s presence.
Because he’s gay and out, and he’s one of the best people I’ve ever met. All the lingering shame I have from the homophobia Bobby Ray installed in me seems to evaporate when I’m around Drew.
I watch Drew’s hands gesture as he talks about some IT mishap at work, and all I can think is how badly I want to reach across the table and take one of his hands in mine.
But the desire to be honest with him, to have him know me completely, wars with the terror of losing what we already have.
