Page 89 of The Revenge Game
But then there’s Xander.
My stomach churns. If I leave abruptly, will Xander start asking questions? All it would take is one loose comment about Andrew Yates working incognito at DTL Enterprises, and everything unravels.
I could buy another company. Create a position for Xander that would keep him too busy to wonder about me. It would take time though. Time to set up shell companies, arrange the paperwork, make it look legitimate…
“Drew?” Justin’s voice pulls me back to the present. “You sure you’re okay?”
No, I’m not okay. I’m so far from okay that okay isn’t even visible with a telescope.
But I manage what I hope passes for a reassuring smile. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just…processing everything.”
I grab my cup and flee like the coward I apparently am.
I make it back to my desk just as Xander launches into an enthusiastic monologue about proper cable management for our invisible audience.
I’ve never felt more like a fraud in my life.
The rest of the day passes in a blur of IT tickets. By five o’clock, my guilt has evolved into something so large it’s physically weighing me down.
My phone beeps with a message.
Do you want to come over for dinner? I’m making chili.
My fingers hover over my phone. The thought of Justin in his kitchen, cooking the meal that reminds him of happy times with his mom, makes my chest ache.
I’m not feeling that great, actually. Might have to take a rain check tonight.
I drag myself home to my empty apartment, the silence broken only by the hum of my laptop.
Would I have cared so much about getting revenge on Justin if I’d been completely happy with my own life? Or was this whole thing just a way to avoid dealing with my own issues? Traveling around Europe by myself wasn’t enjoyable. I’d been aimless, a person with no purpose. So when I spotted Justin, and the concept of revenge entered my head, I seized the idea of having a project.
Maybe I’d really been searching for something much simpler—and much scarier—than revenge.
I’d achieved everything possible career-wise. I was a multi-millionaire by the age of twenty-five. I’d become rich, one of theleaders in my field, everything I’d dreamed of being when I was a bullied teenager.
Yet my success had never filled that hollow space inside me, that gap where genuine connection should be.
How incredibly ironic is it that in the last ten years, besides Leo and Matthew, the only other person I’d actually connected with was Justin.
A knock at my door startles me from my spiral of self-reflection.
When I open the door, Justin is standing there holding a reusable bag and a container of what appears to be soup.
“I thought if you weren’t feeling well, you might want soup rather than a microwave meal,” he says in lieu of a greeting.
“And for when you’re feeling better…” Justin pulls out a Ziplock bag of M&Ms from his bag. “I even took out all the brown ones for you.”
He’s grinning, but I can see the hesitation in his eyes. He doesn’t understand why I’ve pulled away from him.
I’m hurting him.
This man has already been hurt so much…and I’m hurting him more.
I can’t stand the fear on his face. The colorful M&Ms, sorted so carefully just for me, nearly break me.
“Thank you,” I say softly.
Then I lean forward and brush my lips over his. It’s just a gentle kiss, but when I pull back, Justin has closed his eyes.
