Page 40 of Wagon Train Song
“Perhaps I purposely left the bottle there knowing what he’d do.”
“Did you?” This was a question she needed to resolve in her own mind.
“I don’t know.” She looked beyond him. “Maybe I did.” Her gaze met his, burning with intensity. “His suffering was unbearable for both of us.” Her voice broke. “We were supposed to grow old together. Enjoy our grandchildren. I dreamed of having them all come home throughout the year. I’d make big meals, and we’d talk and laugh.”
He wiped away a tear on each of her cheeks.
“Marnie, you can still enjoy times with your family. You can still enjoy your grandchildren.” He caught her shoulders and pulled her back to his chest. “You can even dream new dreams.” Perhaps her dreams could include him and a future with more than her children and her responsibilities.
Her watery blue eyes regarded him, seeking, searching, and perhaps hoping. “I have my family, and I’m grateful. But—” She rubbed her eyes, her hand concealing them and her thoughts. “I need time to think this through.”
“Of course.” He hesitated, hoping she’d ask him to stay. Instead, she eased back, a clear indication she wanted to be alone.
Leaves brushed his head as he rose. “I’ll leave you to sort things out. But remember this—” He scrambled to sort out histhoughts. “Perhaps what’s holding you back is knowing his death was a relief for both of you.”
Her eyes widened. Her mouth hung open.
He better leave before he said more. Offended her if, indeed, he hadn’t already.
As he retraced his steps to camp, he prayed she’d find relief from the burden of unnecessary regret.
CHAPTER 11
Marnie sat back on her heels, crushing innocent pink flowers beneath her legs. Had she purposely left the laudanum where Norman could reach it, or was it a careless mistake? Gabe was right about one thing—it was a relief when his suffering ended. She’d always felt guilty about feeling that way.
She reviewed that fateful day. Wanting Norman to be as comfortable as possible while she was away, she’d given him the prescribed dose and had been about to take the bottle to the other room when he signaled her to his side and she’d set the medicine down and gone to him.
The words he’d said came to her mind for the first time since his passing.
Marnie sucked in air that reached to the bottom of her lungs. Why had she not recalled them before?Thank You, God.
“Mama, where are you?” Bertie’s worried voice reached her.
She scrambled to her feet and returned to the camp.
“Where were you, Mama?” His wet hair dripped over his forehead. One of the girls must’ve escorted him to the river.
“I needed some time to think.” She met Gabe’s gaze across the clearing, felt his silent question, and hoped her smile informed him she’d heeded his kind advice.
“Oh.” Bertie turned to his pets. “We going for a walk.” He trotted down the faint trail, his cats, the dog, and goat at his heels.
She watched him knowing he wouldn’t venture far before he turned around. Her gaze shifted back to Gabe who was greasing his wagon wheels.
She couldn’t wait to tell him what she’d remembered.
Petey toddled to her, and she scooped him to kiss him noisily.
Hazel smiled. “He’s happy to be able to move around more.” She pulled items from the back of her wagon. “We’re going to scrub clothes.”
“Of course.” Marnie put Petey on the ground, and he trotted over to his mother.
Marnie gathered her and Bertie’s things and accompanied the girls.
“Where’s Petey?” she asked.
Hazel looked toward camp. “I think that many men can watch him while I do this.” Her gaze lingered before she hurried on.
The water gurgled over the rocks like it was happy. Marnie chuckled at the idea.
