Page 42 of Wagon Train Hope
“A person should have to ask if they’re missed?”
He touched her shoulder. “Other people might think they’re giving what you want. How will they know they aren’t if you don’t say something?”
She stared at the fluttering leaves behind his left ear. The same movement whispered in her heart.How will they know if you don’t say?When had she first realized she needed more from her parents? “I was too young to know what I was missing, and then it became part of who I was and how I thought.”
His fingertip brushed her jaw. “Now you’re older and wiser.”
“Older at any rate.” She tried for a dismissive laugh and missed. His words held far too much truth. Her parents loved her. She’d always known that. But she needed to hear it. To see it in different ways. “I can’t go back and undo things.” Regretfully.
“But you can change things now.”
How? How was she to alter anything? But she wouldn’t voice her uncertainty.
Walt took the full buckets. “I suppose it depends on what you want. Do you know?”
She mused the question as they left the river. What she wanted now was not what she’d wanted as a child. Ma had said she missed her. That was enough. Except?—
She wanted to find a man who would accept her just as she was and love her like Pa had loved Ma. Like Gabe loved Ma now. “I might know what I want.”
“Then I’d say don’t be afraid to ask for it and go after it.”
“I’m not afraid.”
He stopped and put the buckets down. Caught her upper arms and held her gently but firmly. “Holding back is a form of fear.”
She wanted to deny it. Pretend he wasn’t right, but his dark gaze impaled her, making it impossible to speak or think.
With a nod as if satisfied she understood, he picked up the buckets and led her to the camp.
Her mind was on something other than what she was doing. Her hands operated on their own accord as she helped prepare the meal. Roast venison with gravy and dumplings. Some fresh greens one of the others had found. Soon, they gathered together to eat, and Gabe stood to ask the blessing.
“I’m sure you’re all aware that tomorrow is Sunday. You all know how I feel, how your ma feels about traveling on Sunday. We’ve already compromised because of the need to make use of the good days. Not all of you agree with our wishes. We’ve agreed to let you each have a vote.” He had their attention. “Majority wins.”
Joe wasn’t here. He’d probably suggest they travel while the traveling was good, but he’d always bowed to what Ma or Gabe said.
In the past, Irene had been the strongest negative voice. The others had, for the most part, agreed to take at least part of the day for worship, so it wasn’t unexpected that every pair of eyes turned her way. Not that she could sway the others. Her vote wouldn’t change the outcome.
“We should do as we’ve been doing. Have an early morning service and then move out. Seems—” She looked across the fire to where Walt sat. “Seems to me, we can trust God to guide us, protect us, and lead us safely to our destination.”
Ma rushed from Gabe’s side and bent over Irene to hug her. “What a wonderful reminder for us all.”
No one else had a dissenting vote.
Walt ducked his head,hoping no one would notice his reaction. He couldn’t claim any credit for this change in Irene, but maybe he’d had a small part in it. Though whether he meant reading the Bible to her, pointing out things as they got water, or?—
Everything. Every minute spent with her changed how he saw her, and perhaps how she saw him. And maybe how she viewed her life.
Pa reached for the plate Marnie had filled for him. “It’s settled then. We’ll move out after our Sunday service.”
As soon as the meal was over, Walt was on his feet. “I’ll take first watch.” He hurried out to the animals. With Joe away, they had one less man to guard the camp, which meant longer shifts and less sleep. But Walt wouldn’t let lack of shut-eye allow him to grow careless. Not when the safety and security of his fellow travelers was at stake.
Evening dusk blanketed the hollows with dark shadows. He checked each one to make certain no dangers lurked. His chest tightened when he thought how he’d neglected his responsibilities most of the afternoon in favor of spending time with Irene. No doubt Cecil and Pa were capable of taking care of things. Besides—he grinned as he circled the oxen, checking each one to make sure it was in good shape—he’d enjoyed the time, and perhaps he deserved that.
He moseyed around the wagons. One could never be too careful when it came to avoiding dangers. From between the wagons, the firelight glowed, and figures shuffled about. But the only one that interested him was Irene who bouncedlittle Petey. The light caught in her hair, turning it to golden flames.
Something rustled in the trees, and he pulled his thoughts back to where they should be—guarding the camp. Turning to investigate the sound, he stilled when a brown rabbit hopped from the trees, stood on its hind legs to study the strangers in his territory, and then bound away.
Walt passed close enough to the wagons to observe Irene hand Petey to his ma. Her words carried to him on the breath of wind. “He’s sound asleep.”
