Page 50 of Wagon Train Promises
Cecil knotted his fists.
Louise wouldn’t be reading aloud tonight. It was already too dark. But that wasn’t the source of his greatest disappointment. If he could redo the day, he would not have kissed her. But how was he to know she’d have such a strong reaction?
From the time he’d started work at the blacksmith shop and the young ladies hung around watching him, he’d assumed they would have welcomed his interest. Maybe even his kisses.
Maybe he’d been wrong all this time. Maybe there was something unlikable about him.
He slumped over his knees, staring into the dying fire. Then something Gramma once said jolted through him.As a man thinketh in his heart, so he is.It was a Bible verse. He’d always taken it to mean that a kind person revealed it by kind acts. But did it also mean a man who thought he was decent would act that way and be seen that way?
He considered himself a good, decent, kind man. Now, he must live that belief even after Louise’s unexpected rejection. Her opinion of him must not be allowed to change him. He had no wish to become dour.
Nor would he stop trying to win her favor. Her words did not change his feelings or his hope. They had a little time before they joined the others, and even if he failed to win her favor before that, they had the rest of the journey.
Gravel crunched as soft footfalls signaled her walking along the river. The sound grew closer. Grass shushed under her feet.
Still lounging by the coals, he murmured, “Glad to see you back before it gets so dark you can’t see.”
“I would come toward the fire.”
Did her voice contain warning? About what? Was she concerned he’d kiss her again? It was on the tip of his tongueto assure her that he wouldn’t. But if she wasn’t thinking that, mentioning it would embarrass them both.
“Good night.” Her words were as firm as the blow of his ax to the fallen trees.
He waited until the rustle of canvas stopped, and then he curled up in his bedroll.
Tomorrow, somehow, some way, he’d find a way to talk to her. Explain. But explain what? He shifted to a more comfortable position. How was he to convince her he wanted to court her? There. He’d said it. He knew what he wanted. Now, all he needed was a way to do it.
He flipped to his back, knocking his boots over. As he moved them aside, a thought came to him. His grandparents had seldom disagreed, but he remembered one instance. He and Walt were still young and maybe a little uncertain about their lives as Pa left for a job. There was no memory of what the disagreement had been over, nor did he recall any argument. But the air was chilly when both grandparents were in the house. Cecil had sidled up to Walt and reached for his hand, hanging on to it tightly. Walt’s grip had been firm and reassuring, and the two of them had withdrawn to the farthest corner of the room. Cecil wished they could be invisible.
Grandpa stood inside the door, tossed his hat to the nearest hook, and rubbed his gnarled hand over his head. “Mamie, I regret my harsh words. I ask your forgiveness.”
Gramma hadn’t moved. Cecil didn’t know if she didn’t believe Grandpa or if she wasn’t willing to forgive, so he held his breath.
Grandpa had continued. “I can’t undo what is done, but I can promise I will guard my words and actions more carefully in the future.” He’d stepped closer. “I will show you my love in every way I can.” And he’d opened his arms to hug Gramma.
She’d sniffled a bit but went into his embrace. The two of them held each other for a long time. Long enough for Cecil’s fears to seep away.
Cecil didn’t recall what else was said or done, but those words stood out.I will show my love in every way I can.That’s what he’d do for Louise until she was well and thoroughly convinced.
Louise stayedin her tent when she heard Hazel leave the wagon with Petey. She listened to the baby babbling, wood being chopped, flames crackling, pots clanging. She inhaled the aroma of coffee and frying meat. The murmur of Hazel and Cecil talking reached her. This was what she wanted. Could she plead illness and stay in bed all day? Her book was at hand, and she could read.
But the call of nature made it impossible. Finally, she left her retreat and stepped in the dawn. She yawned and stretched.
“I wondered when you’d get up.” A note of concern filled Hazel’s voice.
Louise hadn’t meant to worry her friend. “I guess I was tired.”
Cecil held out the coffeepot. “Coffee’s ready.”
“I’ll be right back.” She scurried to the bushes, finished her business, and then detoured to the river to wash and assess the water level. It had gone down significantly. Perhaps today, they would rejoin the others. And life would be easier. She could spend time with the other ladies, and Cecil would be busy with guard duty and helping with the animals. A sigh rose from the depths of her being.
Easier. And harder. Before she fell asleep and whenever her thoughts surfaced in the night, she admitted that she’d grown fond of Cecil. But those feelings must be denied.
Dirt clung to her skirt from kneeling at the water, and she brushed it off, pulled her determination around her like a thick cloak, and returned to the camp.
Hazel and Cecil stood next to each other. She said something, and he smiled.
Louise’s steps slowed. She must be careful not to intrude on their time together.
