Page 64 of Wagon Train Promises
“‘Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.’”
Those words stabbed her heart so hard she leaned over her knees to stop a moan from escaping.
Thankfully, no one noticed.
She tried to excuse her feelings toward Cecil as appreciation for how he’d made sure she was all right while she tended to the sick. Or as sharing similar concerns. Or even as fellow travelers. But God’s word demanded truth. She cared for him much more than that. More than she should. Closing her eyes did not erase the dreams that flooded her mind. Sharing life and family with him. Striking out together to conquer new lands and new opportunities.
Gabe closed in prayer.
Louise added her own prayer for strength. And a reminder to herself of her intention of being a nurse in the West. Nothing else. Nothing more.
If she rushed about afterward with more vigor than normal, helping arrange luggage and assisting those weakened by sickness to comfortable positions, hopefully, no one noticed.
Marnie rode in the back of the wagon she shared with Gabe, and he rode on the bench with Cecil walking beside the oxen to guide them. Louise sat next to Gabe. After all, she needed to be able to watch Marnie. Or so she could tell herself.
Irene rode beside Walt in the middle wagon while Angela drove the lead wagon with Hazel and Ruby riding in the back entertaining Petey.
They left behind the campsite where they’d been delayed for so many days.
Louise looked across the river where she’d enjoyed a few short, forbidden days in Cecil’s company. When she could no longer see it, she faced forward, her gaze slightly to her right so Cecil wasn’t constantly in her sight.
But how was she to get him out of her heart?
CHAPTER 16
Cecil almost tripped on the rough ground as he glanced back in Louise’s direction. Again.
“Son, pay attention,” Pa admonished.
He was paying attention, only not to where he put his feet. He tried again and again to catch Louise’s eyes. To signal to her so many things—that he was glad they were on their way again but that he missed the time they’d spent together while stranded on the other side of the river, that he was glad she hadn’t gotten ill but that he couldn’t wait until they could spend a few hours together.
When they did, he’d tell her what was in his heart. He’d be sure she understood that a woman could be a wife and mother and still offer her skills as a nurse to those who needed it, just like the women who served as midwives did.
He rehearsed the words he’d say. Louise, I love you. Will you marry me? No, that didn’t seem right. He tried another version. Tried many of them.
By the time they stopped for the noon meal and to rest, he still didn’t know what he wanted to say. Or rather, how he wanted to say it. But he had all afternoon to think it over.
He helped tend the oxen while Louise and Hazel brought out food for the cold meal.
Louise made sure those who had been ill got enough to drink. She hovered over Marnie. Not that he blamed her. The woman looked like the wind that tickled the grass would carry her away.
“Everyone, rest,” Joe said when the meal was over.
Edginess twitched through Cecil’s legs, and he wandered down to where the oxen grazed, pretending his only reason was to watch them.
The truth was that every muscle in his body coiled with eagerness and expectation.
He meant to tell Louise how he felt before the day was out. And he could see no reason that she wouldn’t welcome the news. Brown-eyed Susans grew in abundance on the hill where he sat, and they gave him an idea. He’d take a bouquet to her along with his confession of love.
If he wore a silly grin that afternoon, no one seemed to notice.
But his grin faltered that evening. Where they made camp, there were no flowers for him to pick. While he tried to come up with another plan, Joe asked him to ride over the hill with him.
“I thought I saw someone in the woods.”
Cecil could hardly refuse. Besides that, Louise was so busy—cooking, taking care of Marnie, helping Hazel with Petey?—
If not for the fact those things were a normal part of camp routine, he’d be tempted to think she was purposely staying out of his way.
