Page 16 of Wagon Train Dreams
“It didn’t make a difference. Besides, my mother was raised by white people, so they didn’t see her as one of them either.” Silence as deep as a pit filled the air. Yes, the birds sang their evening song. The water lapped against the shore. Flames crackled in the campfire. But the sounds did not reach his spirit.
“I’m sorry. But not everyone thinks like that.”
“Too many do.” His carefully neutral tone and his expression should inform her it no longer mattered.
She clapped her hands on her legs, the sound rushing through him. “We could change that.”
Hope flared through him. He quenched it. “It’s nice you think so, but it’s not possible.”
Fire burned from her eyes. “Are you saying you aren’t willing to try?”
His feet dragged along the ground as he rearranged his legs and sat up straighter, facing her with every drop of resolve he mustered. “I’m saying it isn’t something I would want for you and Petey.”
The fire in her gaze seared his skin, and he pushed back every thought until he had his feelings under control. To have this woman offer her affection and to have to turn it away was the hardest thing he’d ever do. But he must.
Those blue eyes still burned like hot flames. Rosy lips pressed into a hard line. “I’m not accepting that.”
“Hazel. Please.” Strength left his voice. “Don’t make this any harder than it is.”
A smile curved the hard line from her lips and crinkled her eyes. “If it’s so hard, then why do it?”
“Because—” His words whispered from his thick tongue. “I don’t want you to be hurt.”
She leaned forward over her knees andreached as if to touch him but jerked her hand back. “Joe, what if it is possible? Are you willing to pass that up? Shouldn’t we at least try? What if I think it’s worth the risk?”
Try? Take the risk? What if it was possible?
His hesitation must have given her reason to think he’d agreed.
“Let’s spend some time together and learn about one another.”
As her voice carried such hope and determination, he couldn’t think of a reason to deny her request. “Very well. ButI assure you that as soon as we encounter people outside this group”—he circled his hand to indicate their fellow travelers—“you’ll learn the truth of my words.” He groaned. “And I will have to stand back and witness hurtful, unkind things being said about you and the little warrior.”
He was giving them a chance. Hazel hugged the knowledge to herself. That’s all she wanted. Besides, she could no longer deny the yearning of her heart. There might be problems, but they’d find a way through them. She wasn’t ready to give up hope of a permanent home. But that was something to deal with in the future. After all, they had weeks yet of travel before they’d need to address that.
For the present, she wanted to know more about him. She rose to her feet. “Joe, let’s walk and talk.”
He pushed upright. He looked ready to bolt into the trees.
She tucked her hand around his elbow. He stiffened, then, inch by inch, relaxed.
“I need to go by the wagons and ask Louise to tend to Petey.” Her friend would put the baby down at bedtime.
Joe sank back into the shadows. “I’ll wait here.”
“Joe, you know these people accept you.”
“As a scout, yes. Perhaps even as a friend. But having you walking beside me, holding my arm—” He shook his head. “I don’t think they’re ready for that.”
She took in the tightness at the edges of his mouth, the hollowness of his eyes. “You misjudge my family, but fine. This time.” Leaving him behind, she returned to the campsite. Mawas mending one of Bertie’s shirts. She glanced up, saw Hazel, and returned to her task.
Angela and Ruby worked on quilt squares.
Irene and Walt were absent. They often slipped away to spend time together.
Hazel joined Louise, who played with the baby, Bertie and Dobie with her. Hazel had seen Cecil with the oxen, so he must be watching them.
“I’m going for a walk with Joe. Would you mind putting Petey to bed if I’m not back?” She spoke quietly, not wanting Bertie to hear and broadcast to one and all.
