Page 17 of Wagon Train Dreams
Louise’s face softened. “You go enjoy yourself. Petey and I will be just fine.”
“Thanks.” As Hazel slipped away, she heard Louise’s parting remark.
“This is a good thing.”
Hazel agreed though she wasn’t ready to givethisa name. Time enough to explore the possibilities. A huge stone had rolled away from her heart.
Grinning widely, she rejoined Joe.
He took in her expression. “You looked pleased about something.”
She caught his arm again. “I’m happy to be with you.”
He didn’t say anything, but a slight hesitation stuttered his steps.
“Joe, I am reminded of something my pa said. Peter had recently passed on, and I didn’t know how I would manage on my own. Pa could tell I was worried. He drew me aside. ‘Daughter, your mother and I have raised you to trust God. He hasn’t changed, though your circumstances look bleak at the moment.’ He reminded me of a verse in the Bible and suggested I say it often throughout the day. Even write it on a slip of paper and carry it with me.” Her throat tightened at those memories—sorrow interlaced with her remembrance of her father’s tenderness.
Joe must have thought she’d stopped. He jiggled her arm. “What verse did he mention?”
“‘What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee. In God, I will praise his word. In God, I have put my trust; I will not fear what flesh can do unto me.’ Psalms fifty-six, verses three and four. I wore out three pieces of paper as I carried them around and pulled them out often to remind myself of the words.”
“Your father was very wise.”
“He was. And I miss him.” They reached a quiet spot by the pond, and without either of them suggesting to do so, they sat side by side, his elbow pressed to hers.
She continued. “I wish you could have met my father. He was a good man. Life wasn’t easy for either Ma or him, what with Bertie and all. My brother has so many fears.”
“I understand that’s why you’ve all chosen to do this trip in wagons.”
She bumped her shoulder to him. “Ma thought Petey and I should go by train. Just imagine, if I had, I wouldn’t have gotten to know you.”
Again, that subtle stiffening. The rejection he’d faced must’ve been more than at the powwow. Perhaps he’d tell her when he felt safer with her.
“Tell me about your husband.” The hesitation in his words made her eager to do so. Traveling with him as a scout over the past months had taught her that she could trust him not only with her safe passage but also with every one of her secrets.
She settled into a more comfortable position and arranged her legs to one side, aware that it forced her to edge more closely to Joe. He didn’t move. Solid as a rock. Come to think of it, that described the man perfectly.
“I was almost nineteen,” she began, “when Peter moved into town as owner of the general store. He was so handsome with his white apron over his white shirt. He always wore a tie.” Pleasant memories warmed her heart. “You might wonder why I was that old before I looked at a man.”
He smiled down at her. “I would wonder why no man had snatched you away.”
Apples of pleasure warmed her cheeks. “I was too busy to pay attention to a man.” Memories flooded through her, some only flashes that disappeared at once, others that lingered. So many that lingered. “I was three when the fever left Bertie like he was. I don’t remember him any other way, but I do recall how frightened he was after he recovered. Ma had her hands full with trying to keep him calm. At times, he would run away, and then Ma had to find him. It was hard.”
Joe slid his hand to cup it over hers.
She curved her palm to his and held on. His strength flowed up her arm and into her heart. Yes, this was what she needed. But to finish her story. What had she been telling him? Oh yeah, why she hadn’t been courted before Peter moved to town.
“When I was five, Irene was born. A year later, Ruby came into the world. Ruby was a fussy baby. Ma couldn’t leave her for a minute. I helped all I could. I was in school, or I’d have helped more.” A dark memory surfaced. She scooted closer to Joe, seeking his warmth and strength and finding it.
“I’ll never forget the day I came home early from school because the teacher had been ill and dismissed us. I found Ma outside, kneeling by a chair. Bertie had gone to the barn to visit the animals, so no one else saw.” Her throat tightened.
Joe tipped his head so his chin rested on her hair.
She closed her eyes and accepted his comfort.
“Ma was crying and praying for patience, strength, and wisdom. I didn’t mean to listen, but I was afraid if I backed away,she’d notice me. I remember her saying, ‘I can’t carry this heavy load alone.’”
Hazel sniffed back a tear. “Right then and there, I promised myself I’d do what I could to help. After that, I hurried home to watch the babies or do something with Bertie. I learned to cook and clean. I was eighteen before I as much as looked at a man, and for the most part, I found them…”
