Page 59 of Wagon Train Dreams
No answer except Petey calling, “Big Warrior.”
Perhaps she needed reassurance. “I’m not hurt.”
Still nothing.
“Hazel, I thought—” The words stuck in his throat. Reminders of his fears and how she soothed them away. “You said you were prepared to face the displeasure of others.”
“Joe.” Her whispered words came through the canvas. “I can face what others say about me or you. I can deal with unkindness. I planned how I would teach Petey to confront it should he have to. But—” The word sounded tight as if she struggled to say it. “But if you being with me means people willshoot you—even hang you—I won’t allow it. I won’t put you at risk.”
“Hazel!” Her name was a moan. She’d convinced him it was possible, and now she was changing her mind. It hurt worse than any bullet could. “Please. Can’t we face this together?”
“I won’t change my mind. I can’t. I can’t be responsible for men like that—” She choked to a stop.
Men like that would always exist. He’d long ago accepted the fact. He didn’t fear them. Simply did his best to avoid them. But how to make Hazel understand? No answer came to his mind, and his only response was silence that came from a heart that had been pierced by sharp arrows.
“Good night, Joe.” Her whisper barely reached his ears.
“Good night.” He walked into the darkness. That night, he put his bedroll in the same place he’d chosen before. He watched her wagon. That was all he had now.
She’d made that clear.
He woke often in the night to look at the wagon’s white shadow. Would she change her mind when the morning dawned? Realize they could go places where they were safe? After all, he gave a bitter laugh, he’d survived this long. But she was right. He’d known it all along.
The next morning, having slept poorly, he was up before anyone else. He went to the oxen. They were ready to travel again. Back at the campfire, he accepted a cup of coffee, careful to avoid eye contact with Hazel, even when Petey toddled over to be picked up.
He didn’t bother to join the others for breakfast, just took the plate of food Irene offered, ignoring the way she scowled at him. He ate the meal standing.
“I’m going to check on the wheels.” As he trotted away, Gabe and Walt fell in beside him.
The blacksmith shop was open, the fire already hot.
“Wheels is done,” the big man announced.
Gabe settled the bill, and they took the wheels back to camp. Soon the wagons were back to rights, the oxen ready to travel, and Joe on his horse.
He waited until everyone was in place. Hazel and several others prepared to walk. He thought of offering to take Petey on horseback with him, but Hazel would probably refuse.
He was a scout, and it was time to do his job. Murmuring to his horse, he rode ahead, checking out the way they would go. The sun was high overhead when he rejoined the others and signaled them to the spot he’d chosen for their noon break.
Petey made it to Joe’s side as he returned from tending his horse. He scooped up the boy.
“How’s Little Warrior?”
Petey babbled a story. Joe didn’t understand more than a word or two, but that didn’t matter. He nodded and agreed, and Petey was satisfied.
Joe carried him to where the ladies had set out the cold noon meal. He took the plate Marnie offered him. He and Petey shared the food. Joe’s gaze was drawn to Hazel time and again. Twice, he caught her watching him…or was it Petey? But each time her gaze skittered away.
This was how it had to be. He told himself so over and over that afternoon. But it hurt far more than he thought possible. Losing Pa and the trading post had hurt but not to the same degree this did.
He’d get used to it. He’d grow numb to it. Once he had these people safely to their destination, he’d move north as far as possible. Maybe to the Arctic Circle. To some far-flung settlement where he would be consumed with survival. He’d find solace in solitude.
Until then, he must endure seeing her every day. Every evening. Every morning.
A smile tugged at his lips. He wouldn’t endure it. He’d enjoy it. Every single minute. He’d store up memories to last those long, cold winter nights of the north.
With a smile in his heart, he joined them for the evening meal. He laughed at how Walt teased Irene. Ducked his head when Cecil kissed Louise in front of everyone. Listened as Dobie told about the little rabbit he chased.
“Almost caught it, too.”
