Page 54 of Wagon Train Honor
“Are you sure?”
She avoided meeting his eyes as she nodded.
“Very well. Ruby, when I talk about my house and my home, I see you in it. Can you?—?”
With a touch to his arm, she stopped him. “Robert, I have committed to working for The Society.”
“I’m sure they’d understand if?—”
“It’s something I want to do.” Did he grasp that she didn’t desire to be excused from the offer? “My drawings are important to me. I want them to be used.”
“I see. So there’s no hope for us?”
“Haven’t we always known our paths went different directions?” She squeezed his arm, feeling his muscles twitch. “We can still be friends.”
“Friends. Of course.” He avoided meeting her eyes. “I see we’re ready to move on. I’ll have to ride with the horses.” He swung into his saddle and took a lead rope in his palm. Not once did he look back.
Ruby crossed her arms over her chest and held on.
Chapter 13
The horses followed along peaceably. They didn’t need Robert’s full attention, but he forced his thoughts to stay with them. That’s what should have occupied his mind from the start of this journey. How would he explain it if they’d run off in the dust storm while he was holding Ruby close and admitting his feelings had gone much further than enjoying a couple of days together at Cypress Hills? Much further than thinking of her as Carson’s youngest sister? Nor could he say when he realized the fact. But when he’d told her about his plans for his house, he saw her in the window, smiling at him, saw her at the table serving a meal, saw her at the stove cooking something, saw her?—
Everywhere. Her presence permeated his plans. Holding her during the storm had cemented them. Like those cliffs they’d visited back in Cypress Hills.
His jaw hurt, and he forced his muscles to relax.
She was correct though. From the start, they’d known their goals took them in opposite directions. He’d asked her to reconsider her plans, and she wouldn’t.
If she’d asked him to reconsider his, he would’ve responded the same way. Having a permanent home was more than a goal or a dream. It was something his heart needed. Like flowers needed sunshine. Like grass needed rain.
He nodded and let his disappointment ease out on a slow exhale. He could continue to enjoy her presence as friends. Nothing wrong with that. After all, this discovery of picturing her in his house, wanting her in his home was new. It could be simply because they were spending so much time together. Or as Ma said on more than one occasion, “Follow your heart to your downfall. Follow your head to your strength.” Usually, she referred to her marriage to Robert’s father. She’d let her attraction to his handsome father and his initial kindness when he courted her blind her to what she knew about the man. Even before they wedded, Ma knew of his weaknesses. The way he walked on the narrow edge of law abiding and his often drunkenness.
Lord, keep me from following my wayward heart.
By the time they halted for the day, his thoughts were back in place, but he wasn’t quite ready to face Ruby. He welcomed the need to take care of the horses and then took himself downstream to a private place and had a chilly bath to rid himself of the layer of dust he carried.
Done with that, he wandered along the water’s edge, moving silently as he sought signs of being followed. If there were men out there, they’d be alert to a horseback rider. Not someone on foot.
He stopped at a clearing where the openness allowed him to see a good portion of their back trail. The grass bent and bowed. Tree branches waved. Bushes rattled. But he saw no indication of men. He sniffed. Caught a hint of campfire, but the breeze brought it from the wagon train. So he retraced his steps.
Again, he paused before he made himself known.
The bonds between these family members reinforced how much he longed for permanency. To wake every morning to familiar faces. Grow old and wrinkled with the same face. Know his neighbors. Know?—
He would follow his dream. His lifelong dream.
Ruby straightened and glanced toward the horses. He believed he was out of sight, and yet her gaze found him. Even across the distance, the power of her look cut to his core. And the blue blaze in her eyes struck deep. What was she thinking?
A smile flicked across her face. She lifted her hand to her waist in a wave and then trotted toward him.
“Friends?” The uncertainty in her voice stung. Did she think he’d abandon their friendship because she didn’t want to be part of his plans?
“Friends.” He squeezed her shoulder, and they fell in step as they crossed to the campsite.
“You’re just in time for supper.”
“I smelled the smoke, detected the scent of roast venison.” But the enticement of food wasn’t what made his lips curve upward as he chose a stool near the fire.
