Page 69 of Montana Bride By Christmas
After supper, she retreated to her room when Hugh took Evan to bed. She did not want to sit before the fire with him.
Not with her wayward thoughts.
Hugh seemeddistracted the next morning, which left Annie able to keep her mind from going in unwanted directions. He had little to say over breakfast and then went to his room to change.
“What do you think about taking Evan to church this morning?” he asked when he returned.
She shook her head. “I don’t know if he’s ready.”
“I expect you’re right.” He turned to Grandfather. “I’ll be back to get you after the church is warmed up.” He touched Evan on the head and, with a quick smile for Annie, departed.
She wandered about the rooms that she’d dusted thoroughly yesterday, pausing to adjust the position of a book on the living room shelf, repositioning the heavy green drapes at the front window. As she’d worked yesterday, she wondered how much changing she would be allowed to do after she became Mrs. Arness.
She hugged herself and stared out the window. Was there any reason to delay discussing making their arrangement permanent? She tried not to think of what Mrs. Shearer had said about her maiden sister coming to visit. Annie knew the woman would be totally unsuitable. After all, Mrs. Shearer was known to have a harsh, critical tongue.
Her shoulders sank. It wasn’t fair to judge the poor woman by her sister’s behavior.
Hugh came in and hurried to Grandfather’s side. Only when he turned did he see Annie at the window. “You’ll be okay?”
It pleasured her that he cared to ask. “Yes, of course.”
“I’ll see you after the service then.”
She nodded and watched until they were out of sight.
Evan came from the kitchen and pressed to her side. “It’s just you and me.” A needless observation, but the place felt empty.
Evan nodded and stared at the window.
If only she could read his little mind. However, she couldn’t. Sighing softly, she faced the room. What was she to do? The sound of a wagon drew her attention back to the window, and she watched families arriving by wagon or buggy and cowboys riding up on their horses.
She felt very alone.
She ached to see her friends and family. To take part in the singing. To hear Hugh. She eyed Evan. If they slipped in late and left before the final benediction, would he be okay? She knelt before him. “Evan, I would like to go to church. I’d like to hearyour papa preach. I know you’re afraid of all those strangers, but would you go if we didn’t stop to talk to any of them?”
He studied her for several seconds, his dark, studious gaze so reminiscent of Hugh’s that she wanted to hug him. One of these days soon, she would risk it for his sake as well as hers.
He nodded.
“Wonderful. Let’s get ready.” She brushed his hair, smoothed her own, and got them both into their coats.
Hand in hand, his grasp tight, they followed in Hugh and Grandfather’s footsteps. The congregation was standing and singing when she slipped into the vestibule. A couple of people turned and smiled at her, but most didn’t notice their entrance. She edged into the back pew, Evan pressed to her side.
Hugh saw her. Their eyes connected over the distance, but it was too far for her to be able to tell what he thought. His smile flashed, and then he turned his gaze back to the others.
“Please be seated,” he said. He paused, and Annie held her breath. Did he have an important, earth-shattering announcement to make? She gripped the edge of the pew with her hands.
He continued. “I struggled to know what I should talk about today,” he said.
Annie realized they’d arrived at the end of the song service. Perhaps for the best. She could hear the sermon then slip away before Evan got restless. What was she thinking? The boy could sit immobile by the hour. It was not something she thought was an asset.
Hugh continued. “As you all no doubt know by now, I have found my son. Praise God for that. He is so precious to me. I will never let him go. It made me realize just a fraction of how much God gave in sending His Son to earth. And then I realized something. It was wrong to live in fear.” He looked at the congregation. His gaze lit on Annie. It was as if there were onlythe two of them. “It is wrong for me to fear losing him. I need to trust God to protect him. It is wrong of me to fear making a mistake. Fear is not trust.” His gaze had swept the audience and returned to her. “‘Perfect love casts out fear.’”
The silence in her head thundered. Perfect love. Fear cast out. She didn’t know if it was possible. Even if it was, was she prepared to trust like that?
“Let me read a passage from Jeremiah chapter seventeen. ‘Blessed is the man that trusteth in the Lord, and whose hope the Lord is.’”
She realized he’d announced the final hymn, and she practically dragged Evan from the church, stumbling in her haste to reach the manse. Or was it because her eyes were clouded with tears that she couldn’t see the ground and find safe footing?
