Page 109 of Taming Ivy
She did not like this position, the helplessness of it. She didnotlike being unable to see what Sebastian intended to do. Still, she did not move, not even when his hand swept into the heat between her legs, causing her to moan in distressed delight. When two of his fingers pressed deep inside her, she choked back a cry and did as he commanded. She stayed.
This unfamiliar position was intoxicating. And confusing. Her body did not know whether to bear down on his hand and the firmness of the bed, or rise up to meet the slow plunging. Her hands twisted the coverlet as his fingers sank into her again and again, the sensation so different from when he stroked her to completion, when the focus centered on the tiny bit of flesh at the apex of her center. Those strong, clever fingers delved deep, drawing her moisture out, the unrelenting movements driving her closer to the edge of heaven. Her hips undulated with the pace he set.
"Are you ready for me, Ivy?" Sebastian murmured, tracing the outline of her spine with his tongue. From the nape of her neck to the hollow of her lower back, he blazed a trail of fire before his teeth raked over the twin globes of her buttocks. His fingers never stopped the relentless surging in and out and Ivy was unable to stop her body from mimicking the motion of his hand. “This is your duty, after all. To submit, to do as I bid you. Sweet love, you are so wet, so hot. You will not deny your responsibility to this. How can you when you need it as much as I?" His low voice contained an undeniable note of bitterness.
“Stop…” Ivy trembled uncontrollably, the sensations becoming too much to endure. She was going mad, insane, her skin coming loose from bones. Despite begging him to cease, her hips continued to rise and fall, her body writhing against his hand, clenching on his fingers in greedy demand. “Please....please...”
Sebastian ignored her, laughing softly. Hardly missing a beat, his fingers were replaced with the smooth fullness of his erection. The heat and width of his body, stretching her, only half-buried inside her and yet filling her so unequivocally, sent her soaring. He whispered a hoarse command, “Let me in,” impaling her until she opened to him completely.
His harsh groan of conquest echoed in the room and Ivy exploded with a shuddering cry, her flesh clamping around him when he thrust harder, burying himself to the hilt. A rushing wave of intense pleasure covered her. Disoriented, she could only gasp helplessly.
Sebastian let the sensations wash and ebb before gripping her hips with hard, needy hands. Lifting her, he placed her in the position he desired, on her hands and knees. Shaken by her powerful response, Ivy attempted to edge away only earn a cautionary slap to her rump. He bent over her, caging her with his body and preventing escape.
“Again.” The demand was a cajoling hiss against the nape of her neck. He nipped her ear and she writhed against him, her rounded bottom hitting the lower portion of his belly in a tentative rocking motion. Keeping one hand on her flank, Sebastian guided her, fisting a handful of her hair in the other, tangling his fingers almost painfully in it. Dominating her, mastering her, he plunged into her body as though she were specifically crafted for his lust.
Ivy welcomed it. Even as he pulled her hair until her face turned to his and their mouths sealed together. Even when he kissed her with brutal possessiveness, taking her like a stallion mounting a mare, the act and position a primal reminder she belonged to him. He would do to her as he pleased. And she allowed it.
Because she loved him. She had always loved him. She would always love him. Only him. She would love him until her heart stopped beating. Until the world and everything in it fell apart around them. The knowledge destroyed her. Inside, she wept as Sebastian pushed her with relentless authority to the glittering edge then tumbled over with her, at the end of his own endurance.
Their climaxes drained them both. His body sagged over hers as they sank into the mattress, melting into the bedclothes. His muscled chest pressed like a heavy weight against her back, but Ivy did not care if he crushed her. She was too lethargic to care, too fragile and emotionally bruised. Confused by her own emotions and feelings for this man, this man who trampled her so brutally and caressed her with such aching tenderness at the same time. What was wrong with her? Why did she allow him to do such wicked things and secretly thrill to have them done? How had he managed to corrupt her to the point she craved his touch even when he hurt her so terribly?
"I don't give a damn if you believe this is merely your duty,” Sebastian abruptly rolled to his back, pulling Ivy to him, his lips touching her temple in a fleeting caress. “I won't allow you to keep yourself from me.”
Ivy turned on her side, away from him, trembling. Even after that rocketing encounter, when it seemed he’d reached into her soul, she was icy as ever.
"What are you thinking?" Sebastian swallowed around the sharp pain in his throat. It devastated him that she would not bend. Why would she not allow him inside her heart?
"You said this is my duty.” She sounded sleepy and unexpectedly heartbroken.
He could not hide his bitterness. “Yes.”
"Is that all this is to you?"
“What is this toyou, Ivy?” Silence fell between them until he rasped, "I overheard you with Sara.” She did not respond. Did his eavesdropping offend her?It’s my damned house…I will listen to any conversation I damn well please."You think sharing my bed is a responsibility until you give me my heir.” His voice cracked with restrained vehemence. "Ivy, no matter how many sons you give me, one or a dozen, I will still want you. With every breath of my soul, I crave you. My hunger, my appetite for you, is insatiable. I suggest you accustom yourself to that fact.”
Rising to a half - sitting position, Ivy’s eyes flashed in the dim light. "What would you have me tell Sara? That Lord Bentley should have her before marriage?” She laughed softly at Sebastian’s frown. “The consequences for a woman are so much greater than a man can comprehend. If only it were a simple matter of indulging our desires without a care. Shall I advise her not to wait? Throw all caution to the wind? To take her chances and pray a child is not conceived before vows are exchanged? "
"You saidthiswas a duty, to provide my children. I need more from you than a damned heir to my estates.” His words dripped with ice. "I want more than that.”
Ivy’s lower lip trembled. "Thisismy duty. I swore a vow before God, and I will honor it. Sebastian…how could I possibly tell Sara howthisfeels? That every time you touch me, I shatter. That I am turned to liquid, your kisses leave me weak, wanting more. When I feel most alive is in your arms. Should I tell her that sometimes my heart feels so full of emotion I believe it may burst? Do you think this will keep her from her beloved’s bed until they wed?" She choked as the confession tumbled out. “The scandal would ruin her and I adore her too much to wish my experiences upon her, to have thetonrip apart her soul with their viciousness. I know too well how it hurts.”
The reality of the truth, hearing it from Ivy’s lips, stung more than Sebastian ever imagined. Knowing she felt so deeply for him, even after his many abuses of her, twisted his gut. He’d done things, things impossible to undo. And it seemed he could not stop making the same mistakes.
It was unwise, returning to London so soon after their wedding. At Beaumont, matters were simplistic, their relationship becoming a passionate, sweet yearning neither could resist. But in this house, it was altogether different. Sebastian imagined he felt the ghost of Timothy Garrett lingering between them and his aunt’s thinly veiled censure coated the air like a poisoned fog. The heavy eyes of thetonwatched their every move, reporting all with glee. It left him with a heightened sense of betrayal and an unfortunate tendency of overreacting. He was the very Devil, here in London.
Ivy was right. What else could she have said to Sara? What other advice was there to give? Sebastian felt sick. Good God, how could she abide him when he continued to torment her like this? He caused her such heartache. He truly was a monster.
"Is this why you abandoned me tonight?" Ivy asked quietly.
"Damnit, Ivy, I apologized.”
"Your apologies are used to bend me to your will. You do and say what you wish and pathetic creature that I am, I forgive you. And allow you to do far worse the next time. You proved your mastery over me. Congratulations.”
"Bloody hell, it's not like that." Sebastian slumped against the pillows, an arm resting across his forehead while he struggled to find the right words. "I want you in my bed because you wish it. I want you with me because you love me. Not because you believe it is your duty to be here. I want you, Ivy. All of you. I will not rest, damn it, Icannotrest until I have all of you. I’m going mad trying to find a way to make you mine.”
Ivy crumpled. Unable to keep from touching him, one small hand came to rest upon his chest, right on his heart and Sebastian covered it with his own, trapping her slender fingers.
For a long time, they lay in silence, each wrestling with despair. Just when he believed she must have fallen asleep, Ivy gave a deep sigh.
