Page 112 of Taming Ivy
Sebastian’s eyebrow rose at her one syllable answer. With a single glance toward the servants, his unspoken command was obeyed. In a matter of seconds, the room cleared.
Elbows on the table, he sighed, resting his head in his hands, raking fingers through his hair until it stood on end. "Tell me, Ivy, what do you want of me? Tell me what to give you and I shall do it. Tell me what to say, and I shall say it. I was wrong...not giving you a chance to explain your position.” His voice dropped so low, Ivy strained to hear his words. “What happened between us - I shouldn't have been so damned rough with you. Should not have used you like that...last night was a disaster, but you know I don’t want this to be the way of things.”
"I don't know what you want, my lord.” Ivy’s cold hands curled around the teacup, wishing its warmth would seep into her.
He took the teacup so his fingers could twine with hers. "Ivy. I want you. But I can't have you, can I?" With one hand, he rubbed his eyes again. "Maybe you will never be mine as you once were. Maybe this was a mistake."
Ivy regarded Sebastian with despair. “I told you this would happen when you forced me to marry you. When I feel my heart opening to you, it is crushed beneath your heel.”
His eyes sparked with guilt, recognizing the truth in her words. “But your heart is not open to me. Tell me what I must do to change it.
“I don’t know. I don’t wish to quarrel. I…I just want to be happy.”
“You don’t believe I can make you happy, my love?”
“At Beaumont, it seemed possible. Everything was so much easier there. But now, I’m not sure. Sebastian, I want to be where you are, but we are both miserable. Don’t you see?” Ivy’s lips clamped together in a hard line, abruptly breaking off the desolate confession. “I don’t know what to do.”
“Little did I realize what a poor husband I would make. I know that is of no comfort to you, when I must atone for my actions time and again. But even if I were able to let you go, Ivy, I would not,” Sebastian declared quietly. “I told you once, you are mine. What is mine, I keep. That will not change - it will never change. You belong with me and here you will stay. I love you with every breath of my soul. If you were to leave me, I would not survive without you.”
CHAPTER 39
Ivy avoided Sebastian for the rest of the day, taking her meals in her room. Suffering bouts of revolving nausea, she only picked at her lunch, sending the tray back to the kitchens practically untouched. However, by the time dinner rolled around, she was ravenous and cleared the plate of every morsel.
It was late evening when she made her way to the library and having neither seen nor heard from Sebastian since their conversation that morning, Ivy thought he might have slipped out to one of his clubs. Obviously, he did not wish to see her and that hurt more than she cared to admit.
Hearing voices coming from within the library, Ivy steeled her shoulders, moving silently as she entered the cavernous space. She would not scurry away like a frightened mouse. Peeking around a column, she saw Rachel seated near the fireplace, one hand pressed to her chest as if greatly pained.
It was shocking to see his aunt. With the exception of the Graham Ball, neither Ivy nor Sebastian saw much of her. Rachel tended to a full social calendar with a few other matrons and when at home, she kept to her rooms.
"Sebastian, it is for your safety. Please, send her elsewhere…for your own sake.”
Sebastian gave his aunt a cold stare. “Madam, I’d cut off my own arm before sending Ivy away from me.”
Rachel’s lips flattened into thin lines of bitterness. “There is no understanding your fascination. She’s dangerous. You need protection from…”
“Don’t.” His hand rose in warning.
“But I-”
“Cease!” Sebastian’s voice quivered with barely leashed anger. “Or it is you I shall send away.”
Rachel’s mouth snapped shut, then with a deep breath, she ignored her nephew’s cautionary words. "Because of Timothy, I must voice my concerns. You are as obsessed as he, and just as blind. You will suffer his same fate.”
Sebastian leaned against the dark oak mantle of the fireplace, swirling a crystal tumbler in his hand. Only the barest hint of amber colored liquid remained in the glass. Hidden by the massive columns, Ivy sagged against the wall. Yes, it was eavesdropping, but she could not find the willpower to leave.
“Your relationship borders on toxic. How can you ignore your suspicions? Gabriel told you of her meeting with Longleigh this morning. She danced with many men last evening; he was just one of her partners before your arrival. At one point, the two of them disappeared onto the terrace together. They were absent so long, I almost ventured after her. To stem the inevitable gossip. Sebastian, the girl is playing you a merry game, just as she did with my Timothy and all the others.”
"Aunt Rachel, you are my father’s only sister and I have an interest in your well-being. I shall repeat this one more time. The last time,” Sebastian advanced upon his aunt with fists clenched, his features twisted into a mask of reserved violence. "Say another word against my wife, and I will, without hesitation, have you permanently removed from this house. Is this clear?"
Rachel abruptly nodded her head, standing to take her leave. “It is unfortunate you will not listen to reason, just as my son would not. If you'll excuse me, I shall retire now.” Whirling on her heel, her face oddly pinched, she hurried away from him as Ivy stepped from behind the column.
Sebastian's eyes slid to her then back to staring at the fire.
"I did not mean to intrude on your conversation,” Ivy murmured. “I only came to select a book.” Her face flamed at Sebastian’s cutting dismissal of her presence, tears stabbing like hot pokers at her eyes. She walked blindly toward the nearest set of shelves. It could hold the history of astrology in regards to the ancient Greeks or the bawdiest of Irish limericks and she would not care. She only knew she would not cry.I will not! Not in front of her! Or him!
"You walk as silently as a cat, my dear. One never knows when or where you might show up.” Rachel followed Ivy, her tone conversational. "Ravenswood Court has acquired many fine works of Shakespeare over the years. From comedies to tragedies, you’ll find them on that shelf. I have my favorites, if you care for a recommendation.”
Ivy did not trust herself to say anything, did not even dare turn around, since her palm fairly itched to slap the older woman.
