Page 58 of Redeemed in Crimson
For the moment, I enjoy my peace. My parents left to mingle after the speeches were over, and it’s the first bit of alone time I’ve had since Mom picked me up to get ready.
As I assumed, I haven’t been able to look at my phone much today. I take the opportunity to respond to the message Ledger sent me a couple of hours ago, letting me know he was heading to a gala with some potential partners for the new club he’ll be opening next year. Tears well in my eyes when I think about the fact that I was supposed to be with him tonight.
Me:
Can you tell me what you had picked out for me to wear since I didn’t get to go with you? It has to be better than this stupid ruffled dress my mom insisted I wear.
I don’t expect him to text back anytime soon, so I give in and start scrolling social media. Ledger doesn’t update his socials often, but the Rendezvous marketing team always posts, so I click on their profile and immediately watch through their new stories. The first several are just advertisements for upcoming events and new member specials, but eventually, I land on a series of reposts from attendees of the gala.
I’m feeling déjà vu as I scour every photo for details of the night I’m missing out on. Unlike the images from the club last night, these include women. Lithe, beautiful supermodels surround him in almost every picture. Other men are aroundhim as well, but it's clear that the women are interested in Ledger.
My mother’s words from earlier start pouring into my mind.
“You didn’t tell me you’ve gone up a dress size. I see you’ve really let yourself go since your breakup with Dean. Let’s hope he can overlook that tonight. Maybe we can spin it as if this is a result of your heartbreak from not being together.”
“Mom, I’ve told you countless times, I’m with Ledger now and I’mhappy. I’m not getting back with Dean.”
“Hmm, well, I’m sureLedgerwouldn’t mind you losing a few pounds either. Where did you say he was this weekend? New York? I would have kept myself in shape if my boyfriend was going to be traveling to a city with so many beautiful women. Especially a man of his…nature. He certainly looks like he spends time in the gym, probably has to be fit in case any of those drug deals go bad…”
Actually, Ledger has been the one fattening me up. Suddenly, it doesn’t matter that he seems to love the way my curves are exaggerated from the few extra pounds I’ve gained. My insecurity gets the best of me, and I don’t know if I’m just searching for a compliment or what, but I send Ledger another text.
Me:
I just saw some pics from the gala. I’m a little relieved I didn’t go. I would stick out like a sore thumb beside those supermodels surroundingyou.
Again, he doesn’t respond, so I go back online to see if there are any new stories. That’s when I see it. Until now, there haven’t been any pictures of him touching another woman, but the latest story boasts a photo of Ledger and a tall beautiful brunette. A brunette who favorsLenora.Her hand rests casually on one of his arms while his rests on the small of her waist, and they’re engaged in one of thoseI’m fancy and come from moneycheek kisses.
Red-hot rage hits me, and I’m once again fighting back tears that threaten to fall. I sit shaking in my seat, blind to anything going on in the room as I stare at the image that seems to be stealing my future away from me. After a minute, a text notification pops up on my screen from the devil himself.
Devil:
I have no idea what you’re talking about, love. But regardless, what’s a supermodel to a goddess?
The part of me that wants to respond is heavily outweighed by the jealous, petty, and irrational gremlin living in my brain, so I start taking screenshots of everything and sending them to Allie instead of replying to Ledger.
I’m midway through my flood of texts when I hear a familiar voice from the chair beside me.
Dean.
I knew I’d have to talk to him at some point tonight, but this is really not the time.Or is it?Ledger is mistaken if he thinkshe can go off and do God only knows what with other women while I wait on him like a desperate little girl.
To my surprise, Dean isn’t a total asshole. “Hey, Sloane. How have you been?”
“Good,” I say as I try my best to forget about my current crisis. “What about you?”
Dean runs a hand through his hair. “I’ve been better. Actually, that's what I wanted to talk to you about. I’m really sorry…for everything. I was kinda the worst boyfriend.”
“Yeah, kinda.”
Dean shakes his head in shame. “I know I don’t deserve it, but I hope you can forgive me one day. This is probably a long shot too, but…I miss you. Do you ever think we could be friends again?”
I almost shut him down then and there, knowing for a fact if Ledger ever caught wind of us having any type of relationship at all, he would go full caveman. ButscrewLedger. “Sure, we can be friends.”
That puts a smile on his face so contagious I can’t help but return it with one of my own.
We spend the next hour retelling old stories from both prior to and during our relationship. When the band starts playing one of our old songs, Dean stands up and holds his hand out, requesting a dance.
We make our way to the dance floor, and his arms wrap around my waist, but they aren’t large enough. I place my hands on his shoulders, but he’s a few inches shorter than I expect, so the angle seems off. When he pulls me close to him, I catch a whiff of his cologne. It’s citrusy and clean, andwrong.One look in hisnot smoky-grayeyes is all it takes for me torealize I can’t do this. It doesn’t matter what’s going on in New York.
