Page 20 of When I Come Back
His ocean eyes scan my face, possibly looking for a tell that I’m lying to him. He’s so close I can clearly see each of the striations in his eyes that I loved so much. They’re more prominent in this moment; they remind me of the surf crashing into the shore then pulling back into the tide, leaving only seafoam in its wake. I’m so entranced by them, I don’t realize his hand is reaching for my face until his fingers push my hair behind my ear.
“Why do you keep calling me that?” His voice is so low that even if someone were in the room with us, they wouldn’t be ableto catch what he said. I give him a puzzled look, and he clarifies, “Carrington. You keep calling me Carrington instead of Cary.”
At that, whatever spell held me breaks, and I try to step away, but he grabs my hand. The moment I look down at our interlaced fingers, he lifts my chin up with his other hand.
“Answer me, Thea.” His voice is strained. He’s holding on by a thread. My heart gallops in my chest as I stare up at him through my lashes. I can’t tell if my body’s reaction is from the dominance in his voice or if I’m annoyed that he’s demanding an answer from me.
“I—” I start to answer but someone walks into the room and clears their throat behind us. I pull back and break away from Carrington, spinning around to see Travis standing in the door to the kitchen.
“I was just about to head out to grab the few things we still need for Saturday…” he trails off, looking between the two of us suspiciously. “Unless… you need me to stay?”
“No. No, go ahead. We’re fine here.” I don’t sound fine. I hear the panic in my own voice, but he nods his head then grabs his hat off of the coat rack in the corner. With a dip of his head in goodbye, he leaves us alone again.
I don’t wait for Carrington to pull me back into whatever just happened, instead I walk toward the bar area of the restaurant. “Let’s give you the tour you came in for. You still have to see the distillery and tasting room next door.”
After showing Carrington everything RED has to offer and watching his impressed smile out of the corner of my eye, I grab the menu I’d left on the bartop. “This is the menu we have planned for tomorrow. I’m only showing you in case you were curious. It’s already finalized and can’t be changed.” That’s technically a lie, but I don’t want to hear which parts he doesn’t like.
He’s silent as he looks it over, nodding his head in what I hope is approval. Without looking up, he says, “And your chef…” he looks at me expectantly.
“Travis.”
“Right, Travis. He can handle all of this?” There’s not an ounce of humor in his voice. He’s really asking if the chef I hired and the menu I created are a good match.
I scoff. “Yes, Carrington.” His eye twitches when I call him by his full name. “He can handle it.Wecan handle it. Everything is covered.”
He nods his head in response, but it’s obvious he wanted a different answer. I let the moment settle as he continues to stare at the menu.
“‘Cary’ feels too… personal. Too close,” I say as I fidget with the rings on my fingers. His gaze slowly leaves the menu and finds me again. I swear he’s lighting me on fire from the inside out with the way his eyes bore into mine.
“Very well,” is all he says in response. He doesn’t fight me. Doesn’t tell me I’m ridiculous to feel that way. He just says two words that mean almost nothing.
I nod and turn away from him, speaking to him is hard enough but having to look at his handsome face while I do is even harder. Once my back is to him, I breathe a little easier. “I don’t know what your plans are. And I don’t understand why selling your shares to me is something you need to think about, but…” I pause and take a deep breath. “This place meanseverythingto me. I know you hate me or, at least, resent me for what happened between us, but please…” Tears well behind my eyes. “Please don’t take this from me.”
He’s so silent that I wonder if he’s looking for a way to break my heart all over again and tell me that no pleading can save me or RED from what he plans to do.
“You… you think I hate you?” His voice sounds genuine but confused. I spin around out of sheer shock at his question.
“Of course I do. I left you. I broke your heart. Over the phone, no less. I hate myself for that. Whywouldn’tyou hate me?” I broke my own heart too. Not that I voice that to him, it doesn’t feel appropriate to say, much less think. I learned that knowing something needs to happen doesn’t always mean it won’t kill you in the process.
“I could never hate you, Thea. You could stab me in the heart, and I’d still never be able to hate you. I don’t have it in me. I never have, and I never will. I… miss you. I miss us.”
The tears that had welled up behind my eyes are free-falling now, there is no stopping them. This is too much. I can’t be here with him, I can’t have this conversation right now. It’s still too raw even eight years later. I never even told him why I broke up with him, and for some reason, he hasn’t asked. Heshouldhate me. Just as he lifts his hand to reach for my face, I step back and look toward the floor.
“You should go. I have a lot to do, and the tour is over.” And with that said, I turn and walk away, wiping the tears from my face. I don’t give him a chance to stop me. The past can’t come back to haunt me, I won’t allow it.
Chapter Ten
Thea
“No, it’s okay, Travis. Take care of Melody. I’ll figure something out,” I say into the phone, trying my hardest not to let my voice betray my panic.
“I’m so fucking sorry, Thea. I’ll come by as soon as we’re done at the ER.” I hear the utter disappointment in his voice. He knows how important today is for all of us, but he’s a single father, and his daughter always comes first. I’d never ask him to put RED before her.
“Travis, really. I’ll figure it out. Text me later, and let me know how she’s doing.” I hang up the call and stand there frozen for a moment. He woke up to her being violently ill, there’s no way he’ll make it in time. I can’t dwell on it though, I have to tell his assistant chef he’s been promoted to head chef for the night. If I’m being honest, I have no idea if Travis prepared him for the possibility that he’d have to take his place one day.
I’ve spent the last three hours rearranging every centerpiece so it’s perfect, straightening out the wrinkles out of everytablecloth, and adjusting each chair at every table. I’ve recounted the chairs at least six times out of fear that I somehow won’t have enough. The menus for the table settings just arrived from the printer, but we’re waiting to put them out. I’m paranoid something will happen to them if they’re laid out too early.
I haven’t seen Brooks yet, and he was supposed to be here already to help with the set up. Today is quickly falling apart. I look up at the twinkling lights strung across the beams and take a deep breath. I’ll figure it out. That’s all there is to it. I can’t call Ripley, he’s in Kentucky at the bourbon conference. If he finds out I need help, he’ll jump on the next flight out. I dropped him off at the airport yesterday, and the excitement was literally pouring off of him.
