Page 65 of When I Come Back
Finding a new chef with the experience needed to run our kitchen is not an easy task. Besides the necessary skills, whoever will replace me needs to be able to seamlessly fit in from day one. It’s not a small ask. Transitions in kitchen leadership make or break restaurants. I can’t leave my life’s work to just anyone, and I don’t have the months it would take to find someone else.
I run my hand over my scruff a few times before speaking, trying to collect myself. “Well, I can’t say I’m not disappointed. You’re leaving us in a tight spot.”
“I know, and I’m so sorry. I wouldn’t even consider it if it weren’t everything I’ve been dreaming of. I’ll pretty much be doing what you did six years ago—not only head chef, but owner. You know I wouldn’t leave for anything less.” Dan’s a great man and a hard worker. He deserves this, and his sincerity douses some of the anger inside me.
“How much time can you give us before you move on?” I ask.
“I asked them for four weeks. I want to give you some time to find someone else or get Eliza up to speed.” Eliza is one of our chefs de partie, and although she’s talented, she’s fresh out of school and not ready to step into the executive chef position. I was hoping Dan would promote her to sous chef after my departure.
I stand to signal the end of the impromptu meeting and hold my hand out to Dan. He quickly stands and grips my palm. “I’m really sorry to see you go, but I get it. I wouldn’t be able to pass it up either.”
Dan nods, and the relief in his eyes is evident. He quietly makes his way out. I stand for a minute or two with hands on my hips and head hanging, trying to think of my next steps.
“Fuck!” I scream and swipe everything off the top of the desk in front of me. Papers, pens, and my cell all clatter to the floor. Dropping back into the chair, my head lands in my hands as I lean forward with elbows on the desk. I dig my nails into my scalp.
I wassoclose. With each breath I take, my hopes of seeing Thea anytime soon seem to move further and further away. There’s no way I can find a new chef to replace me in just a few weeks. Without an executive chef to carry on the restaurant’s standards, the investors will pull out. Without the investors, myonly choices are to stay on personally or close up shop and say goodbye to everything I have worked toward my entire adult life.
How do I go back to South Carolina knowing that closing Carina Cove will put twenty-seven people out of work?
It’s after one-thirty in the morning when I finally get back to Seth’s. After my conversation with Dan, I threw myself into the dinner service, only coming up for air long after the last customer left, and I’d let the kitchen staff go. I had stayed and deep cleaned the walk-in freezer. I needed something to keep my hands busy while my mind worked to come up with a solution.
Three hours later, the freezer is spotless, but I’m no closer to finding a way back to Thea without throwing away everything I’ve created here.
After hanging my coat up in the hall closet and tossing my keys in Seth’s key dish, I beeline directly for the fridge to grab a cold beer. As soon as my hand makes contact with the fridge’s door handle, I throw my head back with a long sigh. I turn around and go back to the door to make sure my boots are on the shoe tray. Seth is rigid about his apartment, and the last thing I want to wake up to is another one of his speeches about how everything has its place.
Fuck. I have to get out of here.
After grabbing a can of beer and popping it open, I finally drop onto one of the stools at the island. I take a few pulls of the crisp IPA and enjoy the silence for a few beats. Seth is more than likely asleep in his room since he’s an early riser, usually gettingto the gym by five. He hardly ever goes out unless it’s work related, or I force him out with our friends. I can’t remember the last time he had a date. He’ll become a complete workaholic if I leave.
When. When I leave.There can’t be a choice here.
I pull out my phone to text Thea. I have to tell her what’s going on. She needs to know that this will take a lot longer than I was hoping. I promised to be an open book with her. My fingers hover over the screen. I can’t make myself tell her I’m not coming.
Closing out of the message app, I switch over to my email, hoping for something from the investors. An email from Thea catches my eye.Read this…I immediately click on it and try to make sense of the picture. As soon as I recognize my mother’s handwriting, I know what it is.
I read through the letter once and then twice more to make sure I didn’t miss anything. Answers. Acknowledgement.Validation. It’s all I’ve wanted from my parents for the last thirteen years. Of course it comes too late.
“Fuck!” I scream and toss the half empty can across the kitchen and into the sink. Beer splashes on the counter and tile backsplash. Apparently, emotional outbursts are all I can do today. I drop my face into my hands as I hear Seth run out of his room and into the kitchen.
“Wha—what’s going on?” His voice is raspy from sleep, but his eyes dart around looking from me to the mess on the other side of the kitchen and back.
“Sorry, man. I didn’t mean to wake you. I’ll—I’ll clean that up.” I stand and start making my way over to grab some paper towels, but Seth’s hand lands on my forearm before I can get around him.
“No, stop. What happened?” He shoves me back down on the stool and goes around the island to clean it up himself.
“Did Dan tell you he’s leaving?”
“What?” Seth’s head snaps to me. “No. What do you mean? Leaving where?”
“He got an offer from Exodus. Executive chef and partner-owner.”
“Fuck.” He sighs and turns back to wiping the counter.
“Oh, and Thea found a letter from my parents,” I say.
“A letter?”
“Yeah, an in-case-of letter. They apologized for everything, explained their reasons for leaving RED to me and Thea. I don’t know how to deal with all of this. We were so close with those investors. How am I going to find another chef, let alone get them up and running in the time frame we discussed?”
