Page 71 of When I Come Back
“You go take a nap, I’m going to read through these,” she says, lifting up the envelope I gave her earlier, after we walk inside. “Then, we’ll talk.”
“Thea—”
“Cary, go. Now.” Her tone leaves no room for argument, so I make my way down the hall to the bedrooms. I pause before opening the door on the right. She might have meant for me to use the guest room, but I opt for her bedroom instead.
Undressing to my briefs, I slide under the comforter. I’m swathed in a sense of calm, surrounded by her mouthwatering scent that clings to the pillows. I replay the one night we spent here together before a deep, dreamless sleep takes me.
It’s dark when I wake, and I don’t immediately recognize where I am. I do recognize Thea’s lemony, floral scent all around me, so I’m instantly put at ease. I check my phone and see it’s just a few minutes after eight. Rubbing the sleep from my face, I stand and find my clothes. As I open the door of the bedroom, I hear music playing softly somewhere in the house.
Thea’s in the living room, curled up on the couch with a blanket on her lap, a mug of tea in one hand, resting on her knee, and her phone in the other. She’s wearing a threadbare t-shirt multiple sizes too big for her, the neck hole so big it hangs over one shoulder. The envelope and papers are spread out on the coffee table in front of her next to a portable speaker and a vase holding the peonies I brought her. She’s lit a fire in the fireplace, and besides the soft harmonies of John Mayer’s “Slow Dancing in a Burning Room,” the crackling is the only other sound in the house.
Her head tilts up from her phone when she senses me watching her. She looks me up and down, her gaze landing on my face. I hold my breath, waiting to see what type of reception I’m walking into. I know there’s a lot we have to talk about, but I’m aching for a smile from her. Her face is mostly in shadow, the fire providing the only light in the room, but I can see the side of her mouth tick up.
“Your hair is doing all sorts of things.” Her tone is warm and quiet, like the flames from across the room. It unwinds something inside me, and I smile at her.
I run my hand through the strands trying to tame the bedhead but give up as I sit on the couch, leaving a cushion between us.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to sleep so long.”
“It’s fine, you seemed like you needed it. Would you like some tea?”
“No, thanks,” I say. Why does this feel so stilted? There are so many things we need to discuss, but the words just won’t come. We sit in silence for a while. The flames flicker, the logs spark.
“I take it you looked over the papers?” I finally say.
“Yes,” Thea replies and then with a sigh adds, “But I can’t sign them. Your parents left RED to you. They want it to stay in the family.”
“You are my family, Thea,” I say with no hesitation. Her eyes snap to my face, and her brows draw in.
“Cary, that’s not what they mean—”
“And I can promise one day there will be a ring on your finger making it official,” I cut her off.
“You are getting way ahead of yourself,” she huffs out as the hand not holding her mug covers the other, and she starts fiddling with her rings.
“Thea, I’m jobless. I have nothing but time. And if you think I’m going to waste a second of it not trying to win you back,you’re in for a big surprise. I was serious when I said I choose you. I made the biggest mistake of my life letting you walk away from me. I will not do that again. I. Choose. You. And I will continue to choose you everyday. So, please, sign the damn papers.”
“I don’t think I can do this alone,” she whispers.
“Baby, you won’t be doing this alone. Ever.” I lean in close and clasp one of her hands in mine. “Can’t say I’ll be much help, though.” I chuckle. “The last few weeks have taught me I’m hopeless with the operational side of running a restaurant. Seth’s the only reason Carina Cove exists. I didn’t realize how much he did until I had to meet with investors, and I felt like I had no idea what I was talking about. I’m a chef. That’s what I’m good at. That’s all I want to do anyway.”
“Are you sure this is what you want? What about Brooks? I haven’t seen him in over a weeknow. Do you think he wants a say in what happens at RED?”
“This is exactly what I want. I want to cook, and I want to come home to you every night.” I kiss the knuckles on the hand of hers I’m holding. “As for Brooks, I think my parents made the right decision not tying him to RED. He needs to figure out what he wants from his life, and I can assure you, it won’t be the restaurant.”
We fall into silence again. A new song starts playing from the speaker, something mournful by Zach Bryan. Thea pulls her hand from my hold and leans over to put her mug on the coffee table. When she sits back, her hands land in her lap, and she twists a ring I remember giving her when we were seventeen. The gold band and tiny lemon wedge catch the light from the fireplace.
I can’t see it from where I’m sitting, but I know the ring has the tiniest diamond embedded in the design. I saved for a year to get that ring. It was a promise from a lovesick teenage boy tothe prettiest girl he’d ever seen. A promise of a future I still plan to give her.
“I’m sorry,” her whisper is barely loud enough to be heard over the faint music.
I’m sorry?
My heart clenches. I knew there was a chance she didn’t want the same thing as I do, but I didn’t think she had completely closed the door on this—us.
She must see my emotions on my face because she quickly says, “Oh, no. That’s not—I mean I’m sorry for how I handled everything eight years ago. I was… overwhelmed. I was heartbroken about my mom’s diagnosis, and I felt so cornered. I felt like I couldn’t leave her alone, and I really couldn’t go back to Seattle. That last year had broken something in me, and I knew I had been slowly breaking us. It seemed like it would be easiest if I just didn’t go back. But I should have fought for us. Fought for you.”
“Thea, I—I’m so desperately in love with you. I don’t think I ever really stopped, if I’m being honest. You’ve had my heart since we were kids, and I don’t want it back. I never have. It’s made a home with you.”
