Page 8 of Fighting for You
My eyebrows shoot to my hairline, and I can’t even pretend to hide the smug look on my face. Before Ripley and Thea started “dating,” I’d wondered if he was gay. Then they started with their date nights, and I figured I’d read the situation wrong. I never said anything because it wasn’t my business, and I don’t care one way or the other. He may not think so, but I consider Ripley one of my closest friends. It’s clear now from the text and the dramabetween Cary and Thea what all of this was. The realization wipes the look right off my face.
The only reason to pretend to be dating a woman when you bat for the other team is if you don’t feel comfortable telling people your truth. I hate that for him. I hate that this town made someone I care about feel like they can’t be themselves. I hate even more that he doesn’t feel safe with me. Although, why should he? I’ve given him no reason to.
I watch as he makes his way back to the table, immediately picking up his phone like he was waiting for a message to come through. His cheeks turn red as he reads the screen, and I try my best not to laugh.
“I didn’t peg you for a bottom,” the words slip from my lips without much thought. Not that I have much of a filter to begin with.
“Wh—what?” Ripley stutters the word, the shock rippling through him.
“A guy named West was asking about your pretty—”
“Oh my God, shut up!” he says, an octave higher than usual and cutting me off. His eyes are huge. His cheeks are even darker now, and he holds his phone to his chest.
“Hey, I don’t care,” I say as I put my hands up and shrug. “Not sure I blame you for keeping it hush hush. Just wish I’d been a better friend so you felt like you could confide in me. I’m sorry for that.”
“You don’t… care? Really?” His shaggy dark hair falls over cautious eyes.
“Why would I?”
It’s clear he’s surprised by my lack of reaction. I guess he assumed everyone would judge him. And honestly, I get it. I have my own secrets I keep for fear of people’s reactions. It’s entirely different, but I get it. Small town, small minds.
“I don’t know… I just—I guess I thought you’d see me differently.” He shifts in his seat, adjusting his glasses, clearly uncomfortable, which is unusual for him. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen Ripley uncomfortable. He’s the guy who revels in the midst of awkward situations, delighting in the tension. I guess it’s different when he’s the one in the spotlight.
“Nah, you play,” I lower my voice and cup my hands around my mouth, “hide the salami with whoever’s dick you want, I don’t give a fuck.”
The tension seeps out of his shoulders, and he guffaws. It makes me wonder just how long he’s been holding this shit in. His laughter tapers off, but I’m not one to sit in the awkwardness, so I only let the silence go on for about ten more seconds before I’m fucking with him again.
“So… is his dick bigger than yours? Have you compared?”
He slaps me on the arm, but at least he’s laughing again. “Brooks…”
“What? It’s a valid question. I’d be comparing if I were fucking a dude. It’s okay if you’re smaller. Someone has to be, right?” I pick my drink back up, bringing it to my mouth as I wait for him to answer.
“I’m not having this conversation with you, man.”
“Oof, so youarethe smaller one,” I say as I pat his shoulder. “It’s okay, we can’t all be blessed.”
He pushes my hand off of him, still laughing just a bit. “Fuck off.”
I take a moment, allowing the laughter to wind down between us. “But for real, if you ever need someone to talk to, I’m around.”
Ripley turns to meet my eyes. “You’re serious?”
I nod as I say, “Dead.” The expression on his face screams shock which pisses me off. “Don’t look so surprised, shit.” I turn away from him, feeling slighted by his reaction.
“Sorry, man. I just wasn’t expecting that from you.”
I lift my drink to my lips once more before saying, “Yeah, I get that a lot.” I put the beer back down on the table and stand. I want to be pissed about it. I want to yell and scream they’re all judging me for how I deal with shit, but they never seem to judge anyone else. I don’t say any of that though. I don’t say anything at all because what’s the point? They’ve all made up their minds. They decided I wasn’t worth their time or effort anymore. Worst part is, I don’t even blame them. I blame me. I just thought maybe me showing Ripley he could trust me with this would change something. But it didn’t. Being surprised or hurt by it is my own bullshit.
“You’re leaving?”
“Yep. See ya.”
He reaches over, placing a hand on my arm to stop me. “Hey, I didn’t mean anything by it, Brooks.”
“It’s cool, dude, I got shit to do. I won’t tell anyone. You have my word… not that anyone thinks it means much.” I pull my arm away as his mouth opens with a retort, but I leave before he has an opportunity to say anything more.
Chapter Four
