Page 76 of Destiny Redeemed
Chapter 19
I spent the rest of the day in a fog of indecision, my mind a battlefield of conflicting emotions. Every time I resolved to tell Anderic the truth, fear would grip my heart, paralyzing me. The memory of my past life, of the horror and pain I’d endured, threatened to overwhelm me. How could I possibly explain it all without sounding utterly mad?
As night fell, I tried to convince myself that it was too late, that I should just let Anderic go without burdening him with my impossible story. I crawled into bed, pulling the covers tight around me as if they could shield me from my own thoughts.
But sleep eluded me. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw Commander Maxwell’s cold, merciless face. I heard the sickening sound of his sword piercing flesh and saw the light fade from Sebastian’s eyes. The guilt and shame of my past mistakes warred with the terror of what might happen if I didn’t warn Anderic.
What if Commander Maxwell has been working with the enemy all along? What if he harms Anderic too?
No. That couldn’t be possible. By all accounts, Commander Maxwell was known to be fiercely loyal to the crown. Anderic was the Crown Prince of Aetheria, not a traitor from a fallenhouse like me. Even now he could suspect me and kill me easily, but not Anderic. Right?
But what if…
Commander Maxwell’s blade flashed, and Sebastian’s eyes went wide with shock. He looked down at the crimson stain spreading across his chest, then back up at me. His lips moved, forming my name, before he collapsed.
But this time Sebastian’s face changed into Anderic’s.
My gaze zeroed in on Anderic’s limp, lifeless body. His golden locks stained in red, his eyes wide open from shock or fear or both. Those lifeless eyes stared at me accusingly.You did this. You are a murderer. You deserve it.
No!
The thought sent ice through my veins. I sat bolt upright, my heart pounding. Anderic was walking into danger, and I was the only one who knew. Could I really let him go without warning him, just to protect myself from potential ridicule or disbelief? Or possible death by Maxwell?
Come on, Ilyana. In this life he doesn’t even know you. Stop being a coward.
I thought of Anderic’s golden curls, his dimpled smile, and the warmth in his eyes when he looked at me. The thought of losing him, of seeing that light extinguished like Sebastian’s had been, was unbearable.
With a shaky breath, I forced myself to confront my fear of Maxwell. Yes, he terrified me. The memory of his brutality still haunted my nightmares. But Anderic… Anderic was worth facing that fear. He was worth everything.
“Laurel!” I called, throwing off the covers and rushing to my wardrobe. “Laurel, wake up!”
My maid appeared, bleary-eyed and confused. “What’s wrong? Did anything happen?”
“I need to go to the city gate,” I said, pulling out my riding dress. “Now.”
Laurel’s eyes widened. “Now? But it’s the middle of the night! Why do you need to go? What would you even do there?”
I paused, realizing I hadn’t told Laurel about Anderic’s letter or his journey to the northern mines.
“Laurel, I forgot to mention. Prince Anderic is leaving for the northern lands tonight. I need to go with him.”
Laurel’s eyes widened in shock. “My lady, you can’t be serious! It’s dangerous, and… and you’ve never been there. I’ve heard only exiled criminals go there. It’ll be very dangerous there.”
Yes, I know. I was one of them.“Laurel, it’ll be fine. Remember I’ll be going with Prince Anderic, and he’ll have guards. No harm will come to me.”
“But my lady, it’s madness! They’ll be on horseback for sure. You’ll fall and break your neck before you reach the mines! You don’t even know how to ride!”
I winced, realizing the flaw in my plan. “I’ll take a carriage to the city gates. I’ll… I’ll figure out the rest from there. This is important.”
“My lady, please,” Laurel protested, wringing her hands. “Let me at least come with you—”
“No,” I cut her off, softening my tone at her hurt expression. “I need you here, Laurel. To take care of things. Please.”
She hesitated, then nodded reluctantly. “At least let me go with you to the city gates.”
I agreed, grateful for her loyalty even in the face of my apparent insanity.
The next hour passed in a blur of frantic activity. We hailed a carriage, and I spent the entire ride to the city gates fidgeting anxiously, praying we weren’t too late. As we approached, I sawtwo riders in the distance, their cloaks billowing in the night wind.
