Page 85 of Destiny Redeemed
His chuckle vibrated against my back. “Always so particular about details.”
“Someone has to be,” I replied, but there was no bite to my words.
We melted into each other again, this time with none of last night’s frantic need. Instead, we savored every touch, every whispered breath. When we finally stilled, our limbs intertwinedlike vines, both of us reluctant to face the day and its looming complications.
“We should get up,” I finally sighed, tracing patterns on his chest. “We have a long ride ahead.”
“Five more minutes,” he murmured, capturing my wandering hand and bringing it to his lips.
“If I give you five minutes, you’ll take twenty,” I said, reluctantly extracting myself from his arms. “And who knows, Lennox might return with the news at any moment.”
The mention of Lennox and the implicit reminder of Callum’s disappearance was like a bucket of cold water. Reality came rushing back—the danger at the mines, Commander Maxwell waiting for us, and my secrets still unshared.
We dressed in comfortable silence, stealing glances at each other across the room. The intimacy of the night lingered between us, a fragile new thing I wasn’t quite ready to examine in the harsh light of day.
Anderic crossed the room to where I stood, his footsteps soft against the wooden floor. He cupped my face between his palms, the gentle pressure of his thumbs against my cheekbones making my heart ache.
“I love you,” he whispered, his blue eyes searching mine with an intensity that made me want to both melt and run. His words hung in the air between us, beautiful and terrible all at once.
He can’t. He doesn’t. This isn’t real.
The doubts that had lurked in the darkest corners of my mind since we first kissed rushed forward, an unstoppable tide. I looked down, unable to bear the sincerity in his gaze, and pushed his hands away.
“Don’t,” I whispered, trying to turn away.
His fingers caught mine, warm and steady. “Lya?” Uncertainty colored his voice for perhaps the first time since I’d known him.
Something broke inside me. Tears spilled down my cheeks before I could stop them, hot and shameful. “No, Anderic. You don’t. You can’t.” The words tumbled out, each one sharper than the last. “How could you possibly love me when you don’t even know who I am?”
“Then tell me.” He didn’t try to wipe away my tears, just held my hand like it was something precious. “I’m right here. I’ll listen.”
“You’ll hate me.” My voice cracked. “You’ll think I’m mad. You’ll leave, and I—” I swallowed hard, the truth rising like a tidal wave. “I can’t bear to live without you.”
Anderic guided me to sit on the edge of the bed, never letting go of my hand. “Try me.”
I took a deep, shuddering breath. “You asked once why I know so many things.” My eyes met his, and for once, I didn’t try to hide the fear in them. “It’s because I’ve lived through this before.”
His brow furrowed, but he remained silent, waiting.
“I died, Anderic. I…I was living in the fringes with my mother and Sebastian aft…after my father’s execution. I did horrible things, things I’m ashamed of. I know that now, but I didn’t at the time. I regret everything, Anderic. We were barely living there. Every day was a struggle. We never had enough food. But we were slowly getting used to it. And I thought we would be fine.” The words just tumbled out of me.
“But Commander Maxwell’s soldiers came for us.” The memories flashed behind my eyes—blood on snow, my mother’s screams. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath; the images were too vivid in my mind. I started to pace. “I swear we didn’t do anything, but… in the end we all died. Me. Sebastian. Mother. Everyone. And then suddenly, I was back at the altar, about to marry Noah. I don’t know how it happened, but it did.”
Anderic’s face remained carefully neutral. “Lya. Look at me.”
I paused in my pacing and looked at him. His voice calmed me enough to think. I was rambling, not making any sense.
“Take a breath and tell me everything.”
And I did. I told him everything. Every detail. Everything I had done. “…that’s why I need to change everything. I need to stop history from repeating itself.”
All the while, Anderic listened without saying anything. No muscle moved in his face; he was still as a portrait. I was sure he hated me by now. “Everything?”
“My father… he hired the Red Cross Gang. He paid them to sabotage Lord Magnus. But he did it because of me. Because I wanted to marry Noah.” Shame burned in my throat. But I had to admit the truth. “I was horrible, Anderic. A villain in every sense. I destroyed lives for my own ambition.”
“And now?”
“Now I’m trying to stop it all from happening again. I have to save my father from execution and my family from exile.” I squeezed his hand desperately. “You have to believe me Anderic. I know what he did was despicable, but someone else was manipulating everything and took advantage of my father. Gareth had a big role to play in this. He even backstabbed my father. My father isn’t fully innocent, but he didn’t deserve death. Please.”
