Page 70 of Hitting the Goal Line
“Given that your team won the cup last night, you are forgiven,” she says, in a calmer voice, but the calm doesn’t last forever, because it quickly fills with excitement. “I’m so damn proud of you, Blakie! I really wish that I could have been there to watch it!”
I ignore the use of the nickname Blakie because it reminds me of when Sophia used it last night and give her a response.
“Thanks, sis. Don’t worry, you’ll be a the next one. I’ll get together with Hunt and make sure that we another super bowl and a cup in the same year.”
“Oh my god, you better. That would be so much fun. And if Maddox and the Miners win the World Series a few months later, it would be like a trifecta,” she says, mentioning one of Hunter and Selena’s baseball player friends.
“That would be awesome,” I tell her, thinking of all the things that have to get in line for something like that to happen. “Are you having fun at least?”
“Yes. I still wish I was home so I could have seen you win, or even for the parade, because who doesn’t want to ride on float, but I am having fun. I’m glad that I got the chance to do it. It’s only been a week, though, so that could change.”
“Well, it does change, call me and I will get you on the first plane out,” I say, just as the bathroom door opens and Sophia walks out wearing the same clothes that she was wearing for the game.
She looks absolutely beautiful, even more so with my name on her back, but from the way she’s looking at me, and the way she is dressed, there isn’t going to be a repeat of what we did a few hours ago.
“I’ll hold you to it.” Jainie laughs in my ear, taking me out of my Sophia filled thoughts.
“Just let me know,” I say, and Sophia raises her eyebrow at me as she goes over to my bag and dumps the shirt that she was wearing on top of it. “Hey, Jain. Can I call you back later?” I say into the phone.
As much as I want to talk to her right now, it feels like there are other pressing issues that I have to take care of.
“Yeah, call me back whenever, just check the time first. I don’t want to talk to you at two in the morning.”
“I will. I promise. Have fun,” I say to her, and before she can even respond, I end the call and turn my attention over to the woman that looks like she wants to run out of the room and never say another word to me again.
It would fucking break me is she were to do that.
“How long have you been up?” I ask, feeling a bit awkward about it.
Why does this feel like our night a four years ago? Maybe because we’re a few weeks shy from the anniversary of when it happened, and all of this feels exactly the same.
But instead of her waking up in bed alone while I take a shower, it’s the other way around.
“About an hour,” she says, her voice small and low.
“Why do I get the feeling that the conversation we are about to have, is going to be a tough one?” I meant to keep that question in my mind, but I somehow let it leave my mouth.
Sophia just continues to look at me as if she wants to run.
“Maybe because it might be,” she says, before taking a pause and sitting on the edge of the bed, opposite of me, with her gaze down on her hands. “We can’t keep doing this, Blake.”
When she turns to look at me, her eyes are shining with unshed tears.
Here I was, not telling her how I really feel about her because if I did and it ultimately didn’t work out, I didn’t want to lose her or our friendship, or even hurt her and yet, as I look at her I see that I’m doing just that.
Just tell her. Fucking tell her how you feel.
Fucking tell her.
Grow some balls and let the words come out.
It’s not that fucking hard.
“Soph,” I start, the words on the tip of my tongue, but she shakes her head at me, ultimately stopping me.
“This isn’t healthy. For either of us. Yes, we’ve only gotten together twice, and once was four years ago, but next time could be in a week or a month and we can’t keep blurring the lines like this. We were able to put it behind us last time and maybe we’ll be able to do the same this time too, but I don’t know if I can handle another.” The way a tear escape from her eyes has me wanting to crawl over to her and wiping every single tear that dears to escape.
Just tell her and she will stop crying.
