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“God. If I had been there…I’d kill them all.”
“They weren’t worth it. It didn’t last forever, and I learned to fight back. But it forced me to build walls. I struggled making friends and decided early on I would rather be alone than let anyone humiliate me like that again. It takes a lot for me to trust someone. Sarcasm is my defense mechanism. That mentality hasn’t really done me any favors as an adult, though.”
August sits up and wraps his arm around my shoulders, pulling me close. “I think you’ve made it out just fine, Mama. You’ve accomplished more than most people, and that’s something to be proud of,” he tells me. “I also know from experience that you’re a big softie on the inside.”
I playfully jab his stomach before turning my head to look at him. I see so much compassion and tenderness in his eyes. August doesn’t just give me his full attention; he makes sure I feel hisintentionfrom within.
A care so steady it both terrifies and makes me weepy.
I trust him.
Taking me by surprise, August tenderly brings his lips to mine. It’s a kiss worth remembering forever. It’s careful and quick, but nothing close to rushed. “Our son is lucky to have you as his mom, Tenley. And I can’t wait to sit back and watch the day he sees it too.”
“I’m going to make sure he never feels humiliation like that, August. I couldn’t bear it. Promise me we’ll be a team and shelter him from the cruelty of the world.”
He caresses my cheek. “We will fight like hell to make sure all he feels is love. But the world will hurt him someday, Tenley, and that’s something you need to be prepared for. The positive beneath it all is that he has us—his biggest cheerleaders and the ones who will be right beside him, ready to be whatever he needs. That’s what sets us apart.”
“I hate that you didn’t have that.”
“That’s okay. I like to think I came out on top. I’ve got everything I could ever need right here.” He pulls me close and lays his palm across my bump.
My head drops as tears fill my eyes. “I’m such a sap,” I giggle while fighting not to cry. “We make a pretty great team. And thank you for saying that…about me being a mom. It’s been my dream since I was a little girl.”
“Oh, yeah? That kind of surprises me,” he sighs. “Not because I can’t see you as a mom, but because you always seemed so…content.”
Here it goes.
“I was. But it never felt like enough, you know? Before I got pregnant, I was actually about to start the process of intrauterine insemination.”
I can tell August is unsure of what that is, so I clarify. “It’s basically where I choose to vet different spermdonors to pick the best one for me, and my doctor injects the sperm through a catheter directly into my uterus for me to become pregnant.”
“Tenley…” August draws out. “I…I didn’t know that. That’s pretty admirable.”
Nothing about his reaction seems flustered or weirded out. I don’t know what I expected. The man is understanding personified.
“I knew that was my only chance at getting pregnant. Since, you know, I didn’t have a partner,” I giggle. “I was also thirty-five and knew the risks would only be more prevalent the longer I waited.”
It feels like yesterday.
“I kinda messed that up for you, didn’t I?” He doesn’t sound upset, but more so disappointed for me. Although if I could go back in time, I’m not sure I would change anything.
“I think it all worked out.” I smirk, looking toward the tiny miracle currently roundhouse kicking my ribcage. “This little guy is exactly what I needed. I guess I have you to thank for that, actually.”
August runs his thumb under my eye, wiping away a stray tear. “I know what we are isn’t conventional and may not be how we saw things going, but I’m ready for what’s ahead, Tenley. I promise you I’ll be good to you and our son. You have my word.”
As if being called by name, the future baller nudges me again with a strength that clearly comes from his daddy. “Oh, gosh.” I place my hand over my stomach, and the joy I feel every time he moves washes over me. “He’s beating me up right now,” I sigh, smiling up at August.
His brows rise, and his mustache quirks with it. “Like right now?”
It’s adorable seeing him flustered. He’s touched me more intimately than anyone ever has, yet the idea of our child kicking inside of me throws him off. I nod and reach for his hand. “Wanna feel?”
The quickest of agreements comes from August, and the moment the borderline karate kick to my ribs meets his touch, tears flood those moody caramel eyes. “That’s him. That’s our son,” he whispers, emotion falling heavy in his voice.
I’m swept away by him. By how much he cherishes the smallest of things. He’s become much more than the man I love to tease at Dirty Bingo, or call stupid nicknames just to get a rise out of.
He looks a lot like my match and everything I see in my future husband someday.
When did that happen?I’m not too sure it’s a coincidence.
