Page 117 of Protect Home
I knew I’d see that photo again, but never like this. Peeping out of his pocket while I’m away.
There’s no way he knew I’d see this, which tells me he did it entirely for himself.
He wanted to have a physical reminder of home.
Ever since my conversation with Navy and Kodi at dinner, I’ve turned into a blubbering mess. Now, add in this sweet and probably the most loving gesture anyone has ever made for me—I’m the perfect ingredient for being hopelessly in love.
Who the hell am I, and how do I recover my body?
Weepy for a handsome man with a mustache and doing a horrible job at hiding it. I’m ruining my image—letting everyone see the mess I am inside when all I’ve ever given them access to is a hard shell and snarky sense of humor.
But for some reason…I can’t find it in me to care. I’m beyond exhausted from hiding it.
Tears plummet down my cheeks as I climb into bed and disregard my phone, ready to elevate my feet. My heart feels like it’s reached max capacity. I’m ready to have this baby and meet my son. But I’m also ready to love the man who built me a crib and overnighted a pregnancy pillow for me from Atlanta.
I’m not sure when or how it happened…but I’ve gone and fallen in love with the Strikers’ golden boy, and I’m pretty sure he loves me right back.
He’s everything I never thought he’d be, surprising me with his kindness and devoted determination to take care of me, even when I haven’t deserved it.
Which has been more times than I’m proud of.
He’s a saint. Something I never saw in him before, andallI see in him now.
Overwhelmed by tonight’s turn of events, I rest my head back and prop my feet on a double stack of pillows. I’ve got my emotional support water bottle filled to the brim with crushed ice to chew on, and my phone tempting me to call August and spill my heart out to him.
“Should I call him?” I say aloud to my bump. I run my hand in circles, soothing the aches and pains while feeling the life inside of me squirm. “What do you think, my guy? Should Mommy call Daddy and let him know how crazy she is about him?”
The little slugger kicks me. Great. NowI’mcalling him slugger. “You think so? I think he’ll enjoy it too much knowing I’m thinking about him. He’s cocky like that and I’m not sure I’m ready to admit it, bud.”
Knowing I’m close to holding the child I’ve spent my life dreaming of is my idea of a perfect moment in time. And as much as I can’t wait for that, I’m going to miss this.
Feeling his little kicks and wiggles inside of me, the first sign of life I feel in the morning, and my voice is the first he hears.
In two weeks, I have to share him with the world, and that…well, I’d selfishly like to keep him to myself for just a while longer.
“Sweet boy…” I tell him softly, my eyes falling closed as I imagine the future we’ll have together. I don’t fight the tears, letting them come as they wish. “It’s just the two of us right now, and I want you to know how much I’ve loved having you to myself. My little treasure of unexpected love and a beautiful surprise. I promise to be everything you could ever need. You’ll never feel alone in this world full of cruel people because you’ve got me. And your daddy, too. He’s one of the good ones. I never used to think that, though. You can ask him yourself one day because he remembers.”
I use the blanket beside me to dry my tears. Tears I’ve been barricading behind closed walls for far too long. I want to call him. Not to tell him how I feel just yet, I want that to be something I do in person.
I just want to hear his voice.
Picking up my phone beside me, I press August’s name before I can talk myself out of it.
“Hey, you. Everything alright?”
A rush of calmness like I’ve never known rushes over me.
He settles me.
“Everything’s great…” I croak, unable to mask the emotions bubbling over.
“Tenley, baby. What’s wrong? You sound like you’ve been crying.”
I smile to myself, loving how well he’s come to know me. I can hear the commotion around him in the background, but not once does his voice stray away from giving me his full attention. “I’m okay. Just missed you, I guess. Wanted to hear your voice.”
Silence fills the line before he finally speaks up. “I’m coming to get you.”
“What? No. August, really. I just wanted to hear your voice. I’m feeling a little homesick, that’s all.”
