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Is this what it feels like to be a mother? To feel fear inevery life choice I make because it not only affects me anymore, it affects the tiny human inside of me, too.
Although August isn’t my first choice in someone to co-parent with, the comment that Navy made keeps running through my head.
August grew up with a house full of siblings, and that at least counts for something, right? He’s never once been cruel or unkind to me. In fact, now that I think about it, he’s only ever shown me kindness.
I can do this.
He’s been traveling for an away series in Chicago. Typically, I would be traveling along with the team, but I requested my assistant stand in for me this week, knowing that being away from home was not the time or place for me to spring such big news on him.
I didn’t trust myself not to unload on him without warning.
This is the kind of news he should be on solid ground for and have a safe space to process in. Similar to what I needed when I found out.
I want this baby with every fiber of my being. I want to experience all the ups and downs of both pregnancy and motherhood.
I’m more than confident I can do that while co-parenting with a friend. Although, I say that loosely. That’sifAugust wants to be involved. Which, for the sake of our baby, I hope he does.
I’ll make it clear I don’t expect anything from him, just support and to make healthy decisions together regarding our child’s life.
Simple as that.
After cleaning up my office and attempting to get some food in my system, I’m now waiting for August and the restof the team to enter the clubhouse locker room. I frantically prepare my rapidly beating heart to slow down so I can gather my bearings enough to talk to him.
I hear King’s voice bellow through the hall. He’s hard to miss.
“TT?” Briggs comes into view. “What’re you doing in here, girl?” He gives me a hug and moves to sit beside me on the wooden bench.
“Oh, you know…just hanging out,” I say a little too suspiciously.
“In the team locker room? Where you know for a fact you’ll catch an eyeful of hairy ass,” Mack exclaims from behind me, scaring the shit out of me.
“Jesus, Mack. Where did you even come from?” I giggle, feeling my nerves settle a bit.
King rushes toward me the moment he rounds the corner. “TT! What up, baby girl? Missed you on this trip.” He pulls me in for a bear hug, and the second he puts me down, I know he sees it.
The struggle written across my face.
Kingston Baylor is the most intuitive man I’ve ever met. He cares deeply and loves fiercely. But there’s one thing he has over every other man on this team: a radar for when the people he loves are hurting.
And I know he can read me like the back of his hand.
“Something’s wrong,” he deadpans. “You good? What can I do?”
I smile sincerely because I’m so lucky to have a friend like King.
I shake my head. “Nothing. I’m okay,” I tell him, pulling him in for a hug. “I appreciate you asking, though.”
“TT, you never come in here all sweet and mellow.Where’s that edge at?” Briggs asks, tossing a piping hot towel around his neck.
If I weren’t so twisted with pregnancy hormones right now, I’d probably appreciate the view that is Crew Briggs’ fifty pack of tan abs.
“All good…” I draw out. “August here by any chance? Or did he already head home?” I ask them.
“August?” King questions. “As in Gus Graves? You never ask for that fool.”
“Who’s the fool?” August’s smooth voice projects from behind me, interrupting our conversation altogether.
“You are,” King tells him, a wicked smile on his face. “TT came here looking for you.”
