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I don’t know what kind of response I expected, but it definitely wasn’t that. “You aren’t going to ask me how I know it’s yours?” I say. “For all you know, I could have been with multiple guys.”
“Why would I do that?” he questions without reservation. “We’ve been friends long enough for me to know you don’t say shit you don’t mean, Tenley. I’m also smart enough to add up the dates. We fucked and this is the outcome of something purely accidental.”
“You’re not upset?” I feel like he should be scared or angry, annoyed, flustered…I don’t know.Somethingother than this. He’s not yelling or anything, justcalm.
“Did you want me to be upset?”
I shake my head. “No, not at all. I just know it’s a big thing to drop on someone, so in the chance that you were, that would be fine. Understandable, I mean.”
Why do I feel shy right now? Bashful even. This isn’t me. I don’t get timid around August Graves. I fight back and don’t stop until I get the final word in.
I’m lost in thought when the softest of touches lifts my chin to meet his caring stare. There’s so much emotion lingering within the swirls of rich brown. I could get lost in them.
“I want you to listen to me, Tenley,” August commands. “I’m not one to run from my problems. I will be here to support you every step of the way. And I’ll be the best damn father this child could ever have. I can promise you that.”
My heart. My traitorous heart. I need to rebuild these crumbling walls to ensure I don’t get hurt. I can already tell my emotions are getting the best of me.
I nod slowly, digesting his words. “That’s good. I’m glad to hear it. I know this isn’t ideal, but I’m really excited. Well, now that the shock of it has worn off,” I say with a grin. “I’ve dreamed of being a mom longer than I can remember, and I refuse to take this unexpected blessing for granted.”
August smiles wide, and his eyes reach the farthest part of his face. “You’re gonna make one hell of a mama, Mama.” He chuckles. “You won’t have to do it alone. You’ve got me.”
“I know, but I need you to take time to process it, August. This is a big deal. It’s not a matter of tacos or burgers for dinner. It’s a child.”
“I understand the gravity of it, Tenley. Trust me on that.How about you let me decide how I choose to process this news, okay? All you need to know is that I’m here and that’s not changing.”
The weight of his words makes me weepy. “God damnit,” I say, as tears I have no control over stream down my face. “I keep doing this.” I point to my wet cheeks.
August wipes a stray tear with his thumb. “I don’t know much about pregnancy, but I’m gonna take an educated guess and say that won’t be stopping any time soon.”
I giggle, and he takes the lag in our conversation to pull me in for a hug. As much as I don’t want to be in his arms right now, I could use the solace. I haven’t even told my parents yet. I know they’ll be happy for me, but still, it’s terrifying.
“You’ve got this. We’ve got this,” he whispers.
We do.I’m confident in that. However, I’m not so confident in my ability to forget how we got here to begin with.
12
AUGUST
“Hey, Cal. Got a second?”
Cal settles himself against the wooden seat of his locker cubby, making sure his uniform is ready for game time. “Yeah, man. What’s up?”
I scratch my head, unsure of how to go about this conversation. “I, uh, could use some advice.”
Surprise crosses Cal’s face. “No shit…” he draws out. “Of course. I mean, I don’t know how much help I’ll be, but I’ll do what I can.”
Cal and Kodi have just started the process of adopting. They got married last summer in Fiji and knew right away they wanted to have a family. But with Cal having grown up in the foster system until he was fifteen, they’re both pretty set on adoption before having kids of their own.
Planning ahead can be difficult when your career rides on being flexible. Cal is the starting pitcher for the Strikers, and frankly, I’m not sure we could take this season by storm without him. He holds down the mound more than any other pitcher in the league, his arm being a fucking cannon.
Yet, I find it incredibly admirable, and with the recentknowledge of them finding a little girl that’s the perfect fit for their family, I know they’re going to make the best parents; I also know Cal has some preparation to do.
“I’m not sure how to say this, and honestly, it feels wild as fuck saying out loud but I’m gonna be a dad, man,” I tell him. Unexpectedly, I feel a smile arise on its own across my face, likely portraying a mixture of emotions.
I’m gonna be a dad.
Me. August Graves. The guy who everyone said would never be anything but a notch in someone’s bedpost is going to be a dad.
