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“It’s exactly what we wanted,” I agree, but I’m not sure I’m convincing. “I’m confident he has nothing else to worry about as long as he keeps it up.”
So then, why does my heart ache just thinking about August not needing my help anymore? Or the fact that millions of people get snippets into his daily life now, when before it was just those close to him.
Me included.
I don’t have access to his profile, nor do I want it, butI can almost guarantee his messages are flooded with beautiful women throwing themselves at him.
Begging and pleading to do anything for one night in the sheets with the king of the hotspot, August Graves. Hell, I know from experience it’s worth the try.
My mind is in constant conflict. Between wanting him and convincing myselfnotto want him.
I keep circling back to the fact that I have nothing to offer. My getting pregnant was an accident, and August stepped up to be the man I needed. Our trading services in the meantime is just a delay of the inevitable.
How do we gauge what’s next after the baby is born? Because at the rate I’m headed, I’m not sure I’ll be able to go back to the way we were before and still be around him every day.
Watch him love our baby boy, only for me not to enjoy them together.
It already feels painful.
“Then the rest will work itself out,” Navy says.
“Mhm,” I agree, moving onto another rack of dresses. “That’s it,” I exclaim, frustrated by the lack of options. “I’m not going.”
Navy chuckles. “Okay, Mr. Grinch. Calm down. We’ll find you something.”
I shoot her a death stare. “Have you seen me, Navy? I’m gigantic and nothing is going to fit…all of this,” I press, signaling to my belly.
Navy abandons her handful of dresses and walks to stand in front of me, crouching down to face my bump. Her hands find both sides before whispering, “And what a beautiful little bump it is. Isn’t that right, little man?” she affirms my son. “Tell your Mama to bring out the Tenley AbramsI know and love. The one that slays any outfit no matter how she feels or what other people think.”
I can’t help it; tears fill my eyes. “I haven’t seen much of that Tenley lately.”
Navy stands and pulls me in for a hug. “She’s in there, my girl. She’s just taken over by a little tiny human. One that better have some redeeming qualities like his Auntie Navy.”
I giggle. “Thanks, Navs. You always know how to make me feel better.”
Steering me away from the dreadful rack of dresses, Navy ushers us to the other side of the mall. “Let’s keep looking.”
“You’re not taking me to the maternity section, are you?” I sneer.
Disgust crosses her freckled face. “God, no,” Navy scoffs. “Fashion has evolved enough over the years, leaving us stylish women with plenty of other options.”
“I don’t even know why I need to find a fancier dress. We’ll be in bikinis most of the time anyway,” I tell her.
Dread fills me just thinking about that.
“You always need a nice dress just in case a sporadic moment calls for it. You know this, Tenley. Must I teach you everything?”
“I’m a whole-ass whale. How the hell am I supposed to wear a bikini? Let alone, a fancy dress.” I start to panic. I never realized these things would bother me until my body started drastically changing—growing.
Orglowing, as August would say.
It becomes difficult to be excited about being pregnant when you don’t even feel like yourself.
Suddenly, small hands find my upper arms and I’m brought to a halt. “Tenley.Cut the shit.”
That’s her favorite thing to say. My brows peak. “Excuse me?”
“You heard me. Keep up and cut the shit. You’re beautiful and never in the whole four years I’ve known you have you ever been insecure. Hell, you’ve always been more secure in yourself than even me.”
