“Oh, man. I love that,” I chuckle, and he grins along. “So God’s a woman. Not an old man sitting in the clouds with a long beard. That makes me very happy.”
“Well, God doesn’t have a gender,” he corrects me with amusement lining his tone. “But yea, we’ve learned about the cultural expectations of God in the outside world, and it’s pretty ridiculous. No wonder there are so many nonbelievers out there.”
“Wait, so you’veneverbeen outside these woods?” I ask, flabbergasted again for like the eighth time in ten minutes.
Abdiel shakes his head. “I was born into The Principality. I’ve lived my entire life on the Expanse.”
All these words he keeps using. Jeez, I need a cult dictionary.
“What about your parents?” He flinches visibly at my words. “I mean, were they born into it?”
“No, they joined when they were about my age, and had me shortly after.” He pauses for a moment, staring into the food that just started bubbling in the pan. “They um… they died when I was twelve.”
My heart actually aches inside me, and it’s such an odd sensation, since I only just met this guy. I don’t know him well enough to sympathize so hard, but for some reason, I can feel his pain. He glances up at me, cocking his head to the side.
I don’t know what that look means, but I mumble, “I’m so sorry for your loss.”
“Thanks.” He eyes me carefully.
It’s making me sort of uncomfortable, the way he’s staring at me. Like he’s reading me somehow. I feel like I’m back in the shrink’s office, and it makes me itch.
“So, this Darian… is he a huge pervert like most cult leaders?”
Abdiel’s eyes widen, and for the first time since I met him, he doesn’t look happy or sweet. He looks suddenly enraged.
“He’s not a cult leader, and he’snota pervert,” he hisses, eyes reflecting the flames from the fire to mirror the fury in his tone. “He’s the kindest, most caring man I’ve ever known. He couldn’t hurt a fly, let alone a human person.”
I hold up my hands, stunned at his reaction. “I’m sorry. I was just kidding.”
His brows pinch together. “You were?”
Not really, but sure.“Yea.” I nod. “I’m really sorry. I meant no harm.”
“No, I’m sorry,” he breathes, features relaxing a bit. “I’m not used to Outsiders. You clearly have different opinions on what’s funny.”
I swallow a lump in my throat. “Sure. I guess that’s it. Listen, I really didn’t mean to offend you. If you say Darian is a stand-up guy, then who am I to judge? I’m no one, anyway.”
“Don’t say that.” He lifts the pan off the grate and begins spooning food into a small bow. “You’re important. Remember that.”
“Right.” I nod, only partially sarcastic. “Thetransformation.”
“Exactly.” He finally smiles again, and I’m reminded of how nice it is to see.
As wary as I am of thisDarianperson, I’ll steer clear of talking shit about him as long as it keeps this beautiful boy smiling.
He hands me a spoon and the bowl of food with steam billowing. “What is it?”
“Corn chowder.” He dips his spoon into the pan to take a bite.
I scrunch my face. “I’m not a fan of chowders.”
“Just try it,” he says in a commanding tone that makes me unexpectedly tingly.
Lifting the bowl to my nose, I take a whiff. It smells amazing. “Did you make it?” He nods, and so, for him, I dunk my spoon into the creamy soup and take a bite.
As soon as it hits my tongue, the flavors explode. It’s by farthe bestsoup I’ve ever had in my life. I’m not even a huge fan of the ingredients separately; corn, potatoes, bacon. But all together like this, it’s amazing.
“Oh, my God. Abdiel!” I squeal, and he grins. “This is delicious!” I shovel another bite into my mouth.