Page 145 of Serpent In White
Finally, he says, “You know your parents meant a great deal to me, yes?” He pauses, and I nod, hesitantly. “They were my closest friends. It was hard when we first began The Principality. It was just Drake and me for so long, and when people began joining, they all looked up to me. They followed me, as their leader. In the beginning, I didn’t know what to do with that. I was young, and still figuring myself out. I needed a friend to confide in, and then your parents arrived.”
My eyes are so wide they’re starting to ache. I don’t think I’ve blinked in a while.
“Before you were born… before you were even conceived, your father and I… became close.” He stops and swallows visibly, the slope of his Adam’s apple dipping slowly while he stares up at me from where I’m resting against his chest.
I move back.
“We were friends. And then we also… were together.” His eyes fall away from mine as he clears his throat. “Romantically.”
I have no thoughts. No reaction. My mind is a blank space.
Since I’m barely even breathing, unable to form words in my mind, let alone from my mouth, Darian keeps speaking. “Your mother knew, and she was fine with it. It was something… they used to do together.” He shakes his head. “You don’t really need to know that. They’re your parents… I’m sorry. I just… I needed you to know that no one was unfaithful to anyone.”
“But you fucked my dad,” my voice scrapes from inside my throat, the words simply ejecting themselves on their own.
Darian’s eyes widen, and his mouth hangs agape. He looks more uncomfortable, more insecure than I’ve ever seen him. I wish I could say it dampens his attractiveness, but he’s even gorgeous when he’s fumbling about.
“I… I…” he stutters before stopping to take a breath. “I did.”
“For how long?” I ask, and he appears startled by my question. My brow arches. “You saidbefore I was born… Does that mean it stopped after?”
He clears his throat a thousand more times. Then he answers me with his mind, too uneasy to say the words out loud anymore.No… We saw each other on occasion.His eyes lift to mine. “Very rare occasion at that point.” He scoots up, coming after me while I back away. Still, he manages to grasp my face. “Abdiel, it wasn’t anything serious. We weren’ttogether. He was married to your mother, and they were madly in love. It was just something that happened on occasion. Something… physical.”
My stomach turns violently.
I just fucked my dad’s lover.
God…
“Abdiel, please don’t be upset,” he begs, eyes rounded with guilty sorrow. I hate seeing him this way, but I feel very strange about this. “As I said, I was figuring myself out. Drake and I… we weren’t together in any real way at the time. He’d made it clear that he couldn’t, and I was feeling so very hopeless. Your father was my closest friend, and he was a wonderful man.” He stops short, as if preventing himself from saying something, unsure if I can handle it. I blink at him. “You remind me very much of him.”
Pain and joy meld together in my chest, twisting up like a length of rope. I love hearing that I remind anyone of my parents, because I loved them and they were, indeed, wonderful.
But they’re not here, and it does hurt to think about them, especially now. Especially from the lips of a man we’ve now shared.
Swallowing hard, I back up slowly while my chin wobbles. Darian sits up, wincing as he does, bringing my attention back to what we just finished doing.
“We should wash up,” I rumble, robotic. There’s so much pinging all over the inside of my skull now, I’m finding it very difficult to decide how I should feel.
I love Darian. I can’t just turn that off. I’m not even necessarily angry with him, or hurt. I’m just… confused.
“Baby?” Darian’s voice calls to me, and I think he’s been trying to talk to me for a few seconds, but I didn’t even hear him. “My prince… are you alright? I think we should… talk this through.”
I shake my head again. “No, let’s just get cleaned up and go to sleep. I’m tired.”
Darian appears distraught. He looks like there’s so much he wants to say, but he doesn’t want to push me, which I appreciate. He just dumped a lifetime supply of nonsense on me.
All I want is to take a shower and curl up in bed.
He stands slowly, legs visibly like jelly. I look him over for just a moment, admiring how beautiful he is. And then I remember that my father probably looked at him the same way.
Was it destined that I would fall for him? That he would captivate me the way he did my father? And what was my mother doing while all this was happening? Just sitting around? Or was she hooking up with someone herself?
I can’t fault them. Free love is a thing here. As long as everyone is old enough and consenting, as long as it’s mutually agreed upon by both partners in the relationship, there are a lot of couples who do similar things.
But it’s a different notion when it’s your own parents. Especially when it also involves your lover.
My King… Or myfather’s…
