Page 15 of Serpent In White
And I think he likes that.
So Drake and I agree on tomorrow. I may or may not threaten him with death if he doesn’t show up after dinner, and he laughs it off, but agrees. Then I go upstairs to try and get some sleep; to rest away my unease in the comfort of my master bedroom, which is different from my lounge. Sure, the lounge has a bed in it, but it’s not typically used for sleeping like this room is.
With the moon glowing in through my skylight windows, it’s not long before sleep steals me, and my mind is quiet. That is, until I’m awoken by a figure climbing into bed with me.
My eyes struggle to adjust to the lack of light, but when I take notice of the short black hair of the culprit, I sigh in realization.
“Em, what are you doing?” I whisper while she nestles up to me, pressing her breasts to my chest and whimpering at the contact. I swallow over guilt, doubt, and a myriad of other insecurities.
“I’m sorry, sir,” she breathes on my clavicle before placing a soft kiss on my neck. “I know I’m not supposed to be doing this, but I… I need it.” Her hands glide up the front of me, taking my hand and placing it on her waist. “I’maching, my King.”
Mother, why must you test me like this? Why must you make me feel worse than I already do?
“Em…” I sigh, shaking my head and taking my hand back. I pull away to look at her, but she won’t stop kissing my neck.
I really would love to give her what she needs, but what she’s begging for right now is a lost cause.
I’ve tried before. Believe me, I have. I’ve come as close as I ever will, and it nearly crippled me.
Taking Emithel’s face in my hands, I force her to look at me. “Ican’t.”
She looks less hurt and more sexually frustrated, which eases the guilt a bit. I’m not sure if any of my wives are actually in love with me, but they definitely want to fuck me, and I can’t help them with either.
This was a mistake.I shake away the thought before it gets too loud.
“Lauris and I talk…” she murmurs, blinking her large blue eyes at me. “You’ve tried before.”
“Foolish on my part.” My tone is firm, to get my point across. She’s just staring up at me and the silence is deafening. “Em, I’m not sure what to say. But you can’t come into my bed like this. Do you understand?”
My wife furrows her brow, appearing as though she might want to keep trying, keep pushing for something. But eventually, she looks down and nods.
My thumb slides over her lower lip. “Thank you. And I’m…” The word gets caught in my throat. “Sorry. I’m sorry. I can understand what you’re feeling, and I sympathize. Do whatever you need to do, just… be discreet.”
“Like you are?” She gives me a pointed look.
I know she’s not trying to call me out or anything. It’s a delicate situation I’m desperately trying to dig my way out of, so rather than scolding her for the comment, I simply nod for her to get out of my bed, which she does, leaving quietly with her tail between her legs.
After that, you bet your ass I can’t sleep. I’m wide awake, all night. Lying surrounded by secrets, lies, and waves of silence.
How the fuck am I going to fix this?
My thoughts are running away with me.
I’ve always been a bit of a dreamer. My mother used to call me her little free bird; head in the clouds with ideas big enough to soar on.
So I guess I’ve been like this since I was young, and now that I’m an adult, my daydreams have apparently become much morelasciviousin nature.
The other night—the first time I’ve ever allowed myself to think sexual thoughts about Head Priest—I became unleashed. And now I can’t stop.
I jerked off three times today alone, picturing him in my head, letting me touch him and taste him. I’ve never gotten off so damn much, and so damnhard, and it’s driving me wild. I could barely look him in the eye last night at dinner.
But I did, for a split second, and I saw it. Isawhow black his eyes were. I’d be willing to bet money he’ll go into the lounge tonight for solitude. And I’m not just saying that because I’mdesperatefor it to be true myself.
Working so close to him all these years, I’ve picked up on the subtle nuances others haven’t. I could tell from his mannerisms last night that he’s on edge. He needs whatever he does when he’s alone in that room.
AndIneed to know what that is, before I go completely insane from the curiosity.
I thought maybe it would happen last night, since he went into the lounge after dinner. But then Drake showed up, and Kiara and Alissa, too. Not verysolitary. He left the room not thirty-minutes later. I practically had my ear to the wall listening.
