Page 151 of Serpent In White
I’m trying this shit.Empyrean.
And if I overdose and die, well then… it was meant to be.
Grabbing the tube, I use it to tie up my left arm, struggling to do it one-handed. I squeeze some of the liquid out of the needle then tap the most prominent of my veins. I’ve done this once before, but by no means am I a professional. I had to stab myself four times before I could get my vein, and this time is no different.
I keep stabbing at myself, my hand shaking too bad. Taking a deep breath, I try once more and finally, I see blood flow into the syringe. Pushing down, I empty the contents into my vein, and once it’s done, I remove the rubber tie, managing to stuff it back inside the drawer as colors and shapes start popping in my vision.
Sitting back on the floor, I look around the room.
Everything is moving. Everything isalive.
“Fuck…” My voice travels from between my lips, the word visible, floating up into the air, banging against the ceiling.
Lifting my hands, I observe them. The air is rippling like waves in the lake, my fingers stretching out long, like claws.
Fear clutches my insides while I crawl onto the floor, words attacking me from every direction.Where are all these voices coming from??
Stumbling to my feet, I rush to the door, the air in the room trying to keep me there, though I’m fighting against it. I can’t stay in here. It’s too small. I can’t breathe.
When I whip open the door, the voices become louder. They’re all different tones, no conversations, more like inner monologues. I can’t identify anything they’re saying because there are too many of them. The sounds are attacking my brain.
I realize I still have the empty vial and needle in my hand, so I stuff them into my pocket and rush out of the lab, brushing past the patrol on my way out.
What’s her problem?A deep male voice comes from one of them, and I look up, my forehead lining in confusion.Why the hell did Head Priest let her stay here, anyway? I mean, she’s hot, but still. She seems like a headcase.
His lips aren’t moving, but I hear him saying these things about me.
My eyelids flutter with rapid blinking as I dart through the hall, away from the guy who’s talking like a ventriloquist. I race through the corridor, ignoring all the colors and shapes following me, the voices assaulting my mind. I leave the lab, not stopping for anyone.
I just run. I run into the woods.
I run up the mountain.
It’s calling to me. And I have to listen.
God, what a disaster.
A local cop came onto the Expanse. It hasn’t happened in a while. We have a sort of unspoken agreement with these hicks. They acknowledged years ago that what’s best for them is to steer clear. Leave us to do our own thing out here, and now and then we’ll make it worth their while.
Money talks in the outside world. I’m no stranger to it, and neither is Darian. Just because we don’t let money rule our lives anymore, doesn’t mean we won’t watch Outsiders fumble for it. If we must.
The growth of the trumpets, the synthesizing of our psychedelics—not including Empyrean of course—is like a DMT of sorts. We trade with a syndicate outside of Boulder, usually for vehicles or supplies, and on the rare occasion, for a delivery of cash to our local PD. Again, we don’t touch the money here, but it’s something that happens every now and again to shut them up.
If they get greedy, they come up here. And we handle it.
That’s what just happened. That’s what called me away from my office while I was in the middle of… whatever that was, with the girl.
The guy is in the cell right now. Xander captured him. The rule is always to take hostages, shoot to wound and all that.
Leave the trespassers for me to deal with.
That’s the part Darian hates. But I can’t worry about that right now. He has Abdiel back, so maybe…
I shake my head. I don’t even know what I’m thinking. My heart has been aching more than usual lately. I wish I couldn’t feel it, but I can. That’s the part I don’t understand.
If I’m made to be the evil to Darian’s good, then why does it hurt so much?
If I couldn’t feel it, I’d be fine, but I do, and it’s a pain unlike anything else. Sometimes, it reminds me I’m alive. Other times, it makes me want to die.
