Page 176 of Serpent In White
And then smile, a chuckle leaving my lips as I look down, shaking my head. “Honestly, I should’ve known. Maybe I didn’t want to think about it… As soon as he told me we had to leave, my main priority became surviving with him. I didn’t care about a single other thing. Loving him consumed me for a long,longtime.”
She nods along, praising what Drake did in her thoughts. It’s familiar… It reminds me of how I felt yesterday when I found out what he’d done to Dan.
Being avenged.She loves the idea. She wants it herself…
I try not to think about it too long, because I don’t want her to feel cornered, since she’s in a cell and all, but I’m picking up on all the familiarities now. Many things are clicking into place.
And so, I keep talking to her. Because I think she needs it. “He used to pay me extra attention… my foster father. And truthfully, I liked it. I never had a father… So this father figure, I thought it was what I’d been missing. No matter how wrong it felt at times, how wrong Iknewit was… the alone time, the lingering touches… I held onto it. I was in denial. I didn’t want to give up myfather, no matter what. I mean, I wasn’t that young, and I’m not stupid. I knew he wasn’t supposed to touch me like that. But I just… couldn’t stop wanting it. Even when I hated it, I just couldn’t stop feeling like it was… the only way.”
Scoffing to myself, I press my back against the wall, dropping my head to it. I’m surprised when I hear Rhiannon relating to what I’m saying. Her thoughts are practically nodding along, commiserating.
“Anyway, that night, the night Drake and I left, that was the first time he got, like…aggressive. Really aggressive. He waited until Drake was asleep, then told me to come into his room, which had happened before. Said he wanted to talk about football, wanted some company.” I roll my eyes at the black ceiling, recalling these details I choose never to think about, though they’re always in my skull. “He got my guard down and tied me to his headboard with a fucking zip tie, then stuffed something into my mouth, some cloth. I’m not even sure what it was… A sock or a tie.” My gaze goes far away for a moment. “It tasted like fabric softener.”
I blink and gust out a rough breath. “He fucked me. He fucked me until I was bleeding, then he cut me loose and dragged me into the bathroom naked, shoved me into the shower and told me to get cleaned up. And that was it…”
I trace the dirt on the floor with my fingers. “That was the last night of his life… And I guess the first night of mine. My life…livingwith that. Because it’s been twenty-five years, Rhiannon, and I still live with it. I never won’t.”
The silence stretches for miles. Not an uncomfortable one, though. It’s a weighted silence, heavy with all my words. My truths.
Darian…Her voice speaks to me in the open air of her thoughts. My neck curls until I’m looking at her, giant orbs of teal shining at me.
She wets her lips. “I… I…” Then her voice dissolves while she shivers in place. She wants to tell me her own truth.
I turn my body toward hers, sitting cross-legged on the hard floor. “You have to know this one thing:nothing happens by accident. For a long time, I wondered why something like that would be a part of my existence… Part of the plan for my life. I questioned why any God would let such vile things happen. And that’s when Drake and I realized, it’s the balance. Good for evil, Rhiannon. God did that to me because She knew I could handle it.” I pause and grin. “Well, with Drake by my side, at least.”
She chuckles, a tear sliding down her cheek, gaze locked on mine. She doesn’t move to wipe it or hide it. There’s no point. We’re open with each other right now, and honestly, it feels fantastic.
“You’re a King, Darian,” she whispers. “Born in blood.”
“Coming from you,” I lean in closer to the bars, “That’s the ultimate compliment.”
She giggles again, and we stare at one another while she builds up to it. I give her time, as much as she needs.
It doesn’t feel like long, but it could be hours for all I know until she mumbles, “My stepfather… he…” Her voice goes out again, and I don’t make any moves, I give no encouragement. I just sit and wait. “He raped me.”
Her head falls forward, and she rubs her temples. My heart tries to jump out of me and go to her, to soothe her because I know exactly how much gut-churning discomfort is eating at her right now.
“I’ve never told anyone that before,” she breathes, face aiming back up to mine. I nod, watching as she reaches forward, gripping the bars in her fists. I do the same, covering her hands with mine. “Six months before graduation, he… came into my room when my mom was out. I never liked him, and I knew there was a reason. I never fucking trusted him, and I was right.”
Nodding again, I keep quiet. I give her empathy in my thoughts. I give her my strength in our joined hands. At this point, we’re so close the bars may as well not even be here.
“My mom never cared that I hated him,” she huffs. “All she cares about is money, success. Showing off to her silicone-stuffed friends. She never stopped to consider why I was suddenly depressed and desperate to live on campus at school. And of course, he paid for my apartment in Seattle. He has a fucking key.”
My eye twitches with rage. “He has a fuckingkeyto your place?”
She nods, solemnly. She looks so small in this moment. It’s apparent how petite she is, like a baby bird I just want to hold in my palms, petting gently until she’s ready to fly.
“I tried to change the locks once.” She glances at the floor. “That didn’t go over well…”
“So you ran away?” I ask, head cocked right while I watch her closely, reading her thoughts in between her story. A story we share, yet hers is her own.
All of ours are.
“I was supposed to go home for the weekend to spend time with him and my mom,” she tells me, her hands settling beneath mine. “He’d already been texting me, and I was sick to my stomach at the thought of seeing him. So instead of driving home, I took a different drive. It took me a while to get to the mountain. I’ve never been a big hiker, but I swear I walked for five hours until I found that clearing.”
At mention of the clearing, both of our thoughts immediately go to Drake. I watch her face as it flushes, and she tries not to think about something. She’s trying to hide it from me… her attraction to him.
“Rhiannon,” I murmur, inching in closer, “Don’t feel bad about being drawn to him. Don’t feel guilty for wanting him. Everyone does… It’s just part of what makes him the Serpent. Temptation is his thing.”
