Page 23 of Serpent In White
He sits back farther, jaw tight to sequester emotions I can hear as if he’s screaming them in my face.
“No. We never agreed on anything like this. In fact, it was always about Empyrean, wasn’t it, Drake?” His eyes are so light now. Even in the dimly lit room, they look like aquamarine, only with some gray thrown in. A stark contrast to the almost pitch black from thirty minutes ago. “So it actually makes no sense for us to hook up at all. You could just give me the vial and be on your way.”
I sit up fast until we’re nose to nose. He looks momentarily startled.
“First of all, you wouldn’t know how to shoot yourself up if you tried, and you’d end up wasting it,” I start. He opens his mouth to object, but I press my palm over it. “And second of all, the moment you stop needing me to turn you out, brother dearest, you let me know. This arrangement could be much more practical.”
He appears wounded, as if I just shot him. And I don’t feel any better about it myself.
But this is what I have to do… It’s always been this way.
You’re an asshole, he thinks, loud enough that it’ll be echoing through my mind for the next three days.
I know.
I kiss the back of my hand covering his mouth, then I shift him off my lap and scramble off the bed. I have to leave, right now, before something bad happens. Before we say more stuff we don’t mean, or before we keep thinking the stuff we really do.
I’ve known for a while that this is dangerous, this thing I do with Darian. He relies on Empyrean, though he doesn’t need it. He experienced his Ecdysis long ago, and anything from this point on is just a means to an end. But I fear it’s become more of him relying onmeas well; on what I give him, more than the drugs.
Darian has needs only fulfilled by me. And I’m torn between wanting to always give in to him, and knowing I should steer clear, to protect him from my inevitable damnation.
“Don’t…” His voice stops me, though it trails off after the first word.
I pause my hasty redressing and hang my head, back to him.Don’t turn around…I tell myself.
But I do. I glance over my shoulder, and he’s just kneeling on the bed, right where I left him, looking helpless. I hate seeing him like that, because he’s the strongest person I know. He’s the King of the Expanse.
But when he makes that face, it reminds me of all those years ago…
The day we ran and never looked back.
His eyes are wide, and he finishes his sentence with his lips sealed shut.
Don’t go.
I shift away, tugging my shirt back on as I head for the door.
“I’ll see you in a few days.”
“Listenup, shrimp. Today’s the day.”
I look up from the pages of the comic book I’m reading and meet the eyes of my foster father.
Dan.
He sucks.
“What day?” I ask, eyes dropping back to my comic. I don’t really want to talk to him, but I know if I don’t it’ll make him angry. So I play along with whatever he’s trying to do in hopes it doesn’t earn me a bruise.
“You’re getting a new brother,” he tells me, standing by the edge of my bed, looking down at me. “Hopefully, he’s more useful than your sorry ass.”
Oh please, Dickhead Dan. Do tell me more about how much of a disappointment I am to you.
But before I can even continue insulting him in my head, I focus on what he actually just said.
A brother? Really??
I’ve never had siblings before. I’ve kind of always wanted one. Someone to lessen the burden, and spend time with me when I’m alone, which is just about always.
