“Oh, no. Wouldn’t want to smell a little sweaty in front of your boss,” he sneers, removing a joint from his back pocket.
“Uh, he’s your boss, too,” I remind him as he lights up and takes in a long drag before handing it out to me. But I shake my head. “Nah, I’m good. The sativa makes me jittery.”
“I feel you, but I need it. We’re hustling out there,” Jordan says on an exhale of pungent smoke. I can tell from the smell it's the batch Barry harvested some samples of last week.
One hit and I couldn’t sleep all night.I’ll pass.
“They’ve really got you guys working hard, huh?” I ask, holding out my arms to get them some rays.
“Yea, but it’s worth it. Drake asked for me.”
My brows shoot up. “He did?”
“Mhm.” Jordan nods. “He must’ve seen how I’ve been busting my hump and decided it’s time to recruit my awesome ass to the Tribe.”
I scoff at his cockiness, but I can’t help the contemplation painted across my face. Jordan’s wanted to get into the Tribe since he was younger. He has a fighter’s instinct, which would be good for them. Unfortunately, you don’t choose to be in the Tribe. They have to choose you. Or more importantly,Drakedoes.
“Well, I hope you stay safe, brother.” I pat his shoulder. “We’ve all heard the gunshots…”
He gives me a pointed look. “Training.”
“Right.” I narrow my gaze but decide to change the subject. “You ready for tomorrow?”
“Hell yea! I can’t wait. We’re gonna be drowning in pussy after this one.” Jordan starts shimmying and poking me. I have to laugh.
“You’re an idiot.” I shove him away as he grins, taking in another drag.
“I’ve seen Kinsey on your nuts lately like a bad case of crabs.” He blows the smoke in my face, and I cough, waving it away. “You hittin’ that, baby boy?”
“No.” I scrunch my face. “I’m nothittin’ that. She’s just a friend.”
“Look, I say this with love, Abdiel.” Jordan folds his arms over his chest, and I brace myself forthisconversation again. “You need to get laid.” I scoff and shake my head, but before I can even argue, he jumps back in. “You’re putting way too much pressure on sex. Just do it and get it over with.”
“I don’t want tojust do it, Jordan,” I hum. He doesn’t understand, and I know this argument is pointless. We’ve been having this conversation since we were fifteen, when he lost his virginity. “I want it to mean something.”
“You sound like such a chick.” He smirks. “You have to be in love, is that right?”
“No, I didn’t say that.” I squint at him. “It doesn’t have to be aboutlove, I just want to be like… I don’t know, vibing on the person.”
He gapes at me for a solid five seconds, and I can tell my words have gone completely over his head. But it’s okay. I don’t need Jordan to get it. I just need him to be a friend, which he is, because he says, “I feel you, brother,” then winks and smacks me on the back.
He doesn’tfeel me, but it’s fine. Again, totally unnecessary for me to plead my case as to why I don’t spend my time chasing down every girl on the Expanse. The thing is, if he were smart, Jordan would take his time. There’s a finite number of girls available to him here, after all.
I know I could fuck Kinsey, or any number of the girls who have been casually, or sometimes not-so-casually, flirting with me since I was like thirteen. But it’s very much exactly as I told Jordan. I’m searching for something… And so far, I haven’t found it.
At least, not in a way that could work well for me…
Jordan and I shoot the shit for a little while longer until it’s time for us to head back to our respective jobs. I sneak in a quick bite in my trailer and then I’m back in the Den’s kitchen with Gina, Perry, Cam, and Ryle, preparing dinner for Head Priest and his wives.
On the menu tonight is roasted corn casserole with smoked bacon, a vegetarian option for Lauris of course, fresh snap peas and my honey wheat bread I made the other day. Ryle has been helping me perfect my bread-baking skills for months, and I think I finally got it down. Only problem is, all the practicing left us with an abundance of leftovers, and now I have to give bread to everyone I come across.
By the time sun sets, dinner is ready, and the kitchen smells fantastic. My mouth is watering, and I can’t wait to be done with clean-up so I can try some of this stuff for myself.
“Alright.” Gina claps her hands together, looking anxiously over the table complete with seven place settings. “Everyone ready?”
We all glance at each other and nod, taking in a collective deep breath. We’ve been doing this for years, and yet there’s always a brief moment of panic before showtime. Things don’t typically go wrong, but that’s because we don’t allow them to.
Forhim, everything must be perfect.