“Let’s go.”
Something has been growing inside me.
It started out in my head, like an idea or the beginning of a thought. A small bud, not yet having been exposed to the proper elements to sprout.
But the more time has passed, the further these feelings have taken me, whatever this new sensation is has spread to my heart where it’s taken up roots. And now it’s almost as if my spirit is in the process of an awakening. That curiosity which used to worry me… there’s a reason for it.
There’s a reason for everything.
These are my musings during this week’s sermon. Darian talks about purpose, each of us finding our true meaning in life and how we can be our best selves for Mother. My eyes are on him the entire time, which isn’t unusual, since everyone else’s are, too. But when his occasionally find me, sitting next to an ambitious Kinsey, who again keeps trying to hold my hand, there’s something shimmering and intense buried within the blue.
He’s smart. He makes sure not to let his gaze linger on me. But still, there were one or two little smirks that graced his full lips and sent flutters to my stomach. I had to shift and look away before my cheeks flushed like a smitten little girl.
And then I peeked in Drake’s direction, where he sat beside Lauris, as usual. And the look on his face was one much more eagerly ravenous.
Dark and mystifying.
The problem with it all is that I can’t hear their thoughts. I can’t hearanyone’s. My Empyrean seems to have worn off, and it’s driving me a little crazy. It’s like they introduced me to this whole new world, gave me a taste of the most delicious fruit ever, and then ripped it from my mouth mid-chew.
It’s frustrating, but I can’t be bothered with that right now. I’m too busy trying to get some space between Kinsey and me as I wait for Head Priest to come our way. He’s making his rounds, talking to the Regnum after his sermon, and I want to say hello.
It’s completely innocent, I swear.
It has nothing to do with the fact that I haven’t stopped thinking about the way his lips feel, the way he tastes, the little grunts and gasps that escape him when he’s drunk with lust, forme.
For two days since our unnecessarily brief romp in the lounge, all I’ve thought about is what might happen the next time I saw him. I resented working the day shift, the entire time impatiently looking forward to today; his sermonanddinner service tonight.
I’m so excited, and anxious, I’m vibrating out of my skin.
Peering left, I see Darian coming my way. Our eyes meet for a moment, and it’s incredible how casual he comes off because I’m practically melting into a puddle of angst and hopefulness on the floor, and nothing’s even happened yet.
He saunters up to me, an easy curve to his lips I just want to suck like a lollipop.
“Abdiel.” His deep voice gives me the shivers, before his eyes dart right and his smile becomes more polite and less secretly rapacious. “Kinsey. Good to see you both.”
“Lovely sermon, Head Priest,” Kinsey flutters, leaning into my side. I inch away from her again and Darian subtly lifts a brow.
“Very entertaining,” I add, then flinch at my poor choice of words.
Darian’s grin widens, though he’s clearly trying to suppress it. “I’m glad to haveentertainedyou.” His eyes twinkle right at me, and I feel like we’re the only two people on the planet. “I aim for nothing less.”
“I loved what you said about resonating in our feelings,” Kinsey chirps, breaking the little spell between Darian and me. He looks at her again and nods along while she blathers, “I’ve always thought having bad feelings was bad. Or like, when I’m upset, I don’t want to be, you know? So I wait for it to go away…”
I’ve completely tuned out what Kinsey is saying, focusing on the slopes of Darian’s lips, the slightest crease in the bottom, like a pillow of temptation just waiting to be kissed raw. When he tugs it briefly between his teeth, I snap out of my trance, eyes slinking back to his, where his gaze narrows just enough. I wish I could hear what he’s thinking…
Probably admonishing me for staring at his mouth in front of everyone, while Kinsey is rambling on and on to him.Great, and now I’m blushing.
“Very insightful, Kinsey,” Darian replies when she finally comes up for air. Then he turns back to me. “What did you think about it, Abdiel? Have you been resonating in your feelings?”
The way he’s looking at me, it’s virtually impossible not to feel like I have a spotlight shining in my face, but not in a bad way. He’s just so present, he makes you want to spill your guts to him. Not to mention, he’s looking at me like he’s remembering the exact cadence of my breaths while he kissed and touched me. The shape of my erection as it grew for him, and no one else.
Well, let’s see. Have I been resonating in my feelings?? What feelings, my King…? My pure desperation for another taste of your mouth? My ever-present ache when I think about your strong hands caressing my flesh…?
While I can’t hear him, he can certainly still hear me, and my thoughts seem to be making small stress-cracks in his composure. He clears his throat, jaw tensing just a bit, though his eyes are alit with need.
“Yes, Head Priest,” I whisper, his eyes dropping to my mouth for one brief moment. “Resonating… a lot.”
Darian parts his lips as if to say something, but before he can, a tall, unmistakable form with jet-black hair and swirling eyes steps up to our little group, placing a large hand on Darian’s shoulder, hard enough that he flinches.