Page 98 of Serpent In White
It might sound crazy to some, but there’s a voice up here. At first, I thought it was Mother, but the more I hear and feel, I’m not so sure.
I stop by the river to splash some cool water on my face. I’m growing closer to where it happened… I can feel it.
My parents’ bodies were found in a gully, which sits many yards down from the peak. Their bones were shattered, indicating that they’d fallen… Or jumped.
Or been pushed.
I still remember that day, like it just happened…
I’m cold, freezing, though it’s summer and the sun is warm.
My skin is frigid, as if I’m sitting in an icebox.
I wander closer to where everyone is gathered, people standing up on the banks looking down on the rest of us, in the gully, dredging through the water. Hushed whispers surround me, yet I can’t hear any of their words.
I’m smaller than the adults, so they don’t see me sneaking around them, moving closer.
Finally, I break through, a sharp pain of breath sucking into my lungs like a blade.
Mom and Dad…
They’re lying in the shallow water, eyes open.
My father’s leg is bent back in a way it certainly shouldn’t be, and my mother’s arm is folded underneath her. Their faces are right by one another’s. And they’re holding hands. Actually, their fingers appear tangled together, like it would take great effort to separate them.
Swallowing is a harsh burn, pressure building up in my face so tight I can barely see. My eyes are flooded instantly with tears I don’t feel. My face is numb, my whole body is.
My parents… are dead.
I turn and throw up onto the ground. It splatters on my shoes.
“Abdiel, no!” A loud voice booms from my right, but I can’t look in its direction.
I can’t look away from the bodies of the only parents I’ll ever have. The most important people in the world to me.
They’re gone.
“Come, now,” the voice says as I’m lifted up into powerful arms and hauled away from the bodies.
Away from the pain.
It takes many moments for me to realize it’s Head Priest who’s carrying me, stomping through the muddy water while I cling to him.
My skinny arms tighten around his neck, and I bury my face in the crook, crying hysterically. He walks for what feels like hours, holding the back of my head, his long fingers gently caressing my curls.
“There there, young one,” he whispers in comfort, though his voice sounds choked with emotions. “You’re not alone, and you never will be.”
I shiver and shake in his grip, but he just holds me tighter. At some point, I think he’s sitting down. I can barely register where we are, but I know we’re still in the woods. I don’t see or hear anyone anymore. Nothing but the consoling murmurs of our Head Priest.
Our King.
“I’m… I’m sc-scared,” I whimper.
“Shhh… I know,” he says, tone deep in a grief weighting my own chest like a hundred pounds of wet cement. “Feel this, Abdiel. Feel anything you need to. Mourn… but don’t fear it.”
His words give me some minute comfort, although I don’t exactly understand what they mean. I nod into the crook of his neck, and I just cry. And he cries with me.
A loss I’ve felt in my bones every day since…
