Page 21 of Pull
I also love how he thinks it still intimidates me the same way it did last year… When we did something we weren’t supposed to, and it somehow turned into the most beautiful thing I could ever know.
Ben blinks at me, apparently considering my words before he glances left, then right. There are a lot of eyes on him at the moment, all deserving, of course. He looks good—damn good—as he always does. But today in particular, wearing his sleevelessWhy Choose?shirt decorated in Pan & Poly colors. I’m wearing something similar, but for some reason on Ben it just looks… life-affirming.
He’s mine. He’sours… A thought worth drooling over.
“The arms on you, though,” another barely-dressed dude sighs as he walks by us, eye fucking the shit out of my husband so hard I almost double over with laughter.
“This is amazing,” I wrap my arms around his waist and pepper his jaw with kisses, earning us a fewawww’s from nearby onlookers—who are everywhere, by the way. The streets are packed with people, all decked out in drag, leather and lace and fishnet and rainbows, as far as the eye can see.
I’m just loving this so hard.
“Okay, well I don’t really care about the attention of all these people,” Ben sighs, letting his hand drift down to my ass. Then theawww’s change to a fewalright, get a room’s. “In case you haven’t noticed, I’m mainly here for you, baby.”
Gazing up at his perfectly chiseled face, I bite my lip. “And I couldn’t be more appreciative. But I want you to enjoy yourself, too. It’s like Jess said, we need to have this experience. It’s like losing your virginity.”
A deep laugh bubbles from his throat and I can’t help but press my thumb to his lower lip.
“I lost my virginity to you,” he mumbles, holding me close with his lips drifting over to my ear. “In a sense…”
“Best day ever,” I grin while feeling him up just enough and knowing this is one place where I nevereverhave to worry about people judging us.
It’s not something I worry about much as it is. I fell pretty easily into uncovering my bisexuality, and I consider myself insanely fortunate that everyone in my life is so supportive. Millions of others haven’t been so lucky, and that’s the other reason I wanted to come today.
If me showing up can let even just one person know it’s okay to love who you want to love, to stand up as a guy and sayI kissed a boy and I liked it, then this is exactly where I need to be on this lovely, albeit scorching, June afternoon.
A cute little whine that I’m choosing to interpret asDadatugs me away from my sexy ass husband and I turn back toward Jess and Ethan in the stroller.
“He wants you, babe,” Jess tells me, lifting him out so I can swing him around.
My heart has never been fuller than it is today, and having Ethan here is the final thing to stuff it up. My son is the best kid who’s ever existed.I know every parent says that, but in our case it’s true!I never knew how awesome being a dad could feel until this unexpected little peanut came along.
Ethan’s about nine months old—we’ll be celebrating his first birthday in only a few more months and I can’t wait. Jess and I are already talking about a big party.
“What do you think, kiddo?” I ask Ethan, as if he’ll answer me. “You wanna go check out the parade?”
He squeals something that I’ll take as ayes, and we pick back up walking, making our way through the crowd toward the cheering bystanders. People move aside for us so we can get Ethan closer, everyone smiling and commenting on how adorable he is, and of course on the epic onesie he’s in. Jess takes a bow for that one.
It is indeed epic.
We watch the parade for a bit, the floats huge and decorated to the fullest in color. I love how beautiful it all is, the love. Love for each other, and for ourselves. It’s so powerful, I can feel it in the air.
The struggle to finding yourself is one that can take a while, and sometimes feel hopeless. All these people, whether they get to be themselves every day of the year, or only today, they’re the bravest damn people ever.Such an incredible celebration.
Ben presses a kiss to my cheek, and I smile when Jess wraps her arm around my waist, resting her head on my shoulder.What a great day.
Once we’re done watching the parade, and I can feel Ethan getting restless, we decide to walk back toward the hotel.
“You sure you don’t mind taking him back?” Ben asks, concern lining his eyes for our wife. “This isn’t just about us, you know.” He means him and me.
Jess and I had talked about it. She voiced her concerns about not wanting to interfere with Ben and my celebrations. But I assured her that celebrating Poly pride is just as important. She’s married to queer guys, after all. Doesn’t get much closer than that.
“I know it’s not,” she tells Ben, holding their joined hands up to her heart. “I had an amazing day. Bringing Ethan here to witness all this… It’s more than I could ever ask for.” She gives him an assuring smile, then turns to me quickly.
I just wink at her. Jess and I are simpatico. We always have been. I tend to understand where she’s coming from, because so often the ways she thinks and reacts are ways I would do the same. She’s the best wife two guys could ever ask for because she recognizes that we each need to have our own relationships, outside of the throuple. She and Ben have their thing, the most solid connection I’ve ever encountered. She and I have our thing, too.
And then there’s me and Ben…
Fireworks on steroids. Intensity and chemistry, like fire on fire.
