Page 7 of Pull
Why was he so selfish and stupid and fuckingevil??
My brain was throbbing inside my skull, and I felt a migraine like no other coming on. Thankfullythat time Iwas able todetach my eyes from the journal long enough to notice mystop,and get off the damn train.
Stomping through the leftover snow from the storm that had happened the day after I arrived,I made my way inside my aunt’s apartment. Luckily for me, she was out, so I wouldn’t have to explain my next few moves to her. Because they weren’t the actions of a sane, rational human being.
The second I set foot inside the apartment, I grabbed the first thing I saw, an umbrella, and used it to smash everything in sight. Nothing that my aunt cared for, obviously. Nothing irreplaceable. Just the walls, the door, the table, the floor…basicallyeverything in the immediate vicinity.
I whacked and thumped that stupid umbrella against everything I could reach, heaving and panting, growling and snarling in a complete fury of nonsense. Because I wanted to hurt something, but I couldn’t.Iwas the one hurting. It was incredibly frustrating.
Once Iwas donewith mytempertantrum, and the umbrellawas brokenin half looking equally pathetic, huffed my way over to the kitchen, opened the fridge and freezerat the same time,removing a six-pack of Pabst and a container of ice cream. I sat on the floor, shotgunned two beers, then ate the entire half-gallon of rocky road like some kind of ridiculous loser.
I couldn’t remember ever feeling so completely fucked.
The rest of the afternoon went by in a blur.
I killed the rest of the beers, then sat in the shower, hugging my knees to my chest for about an hour. After that,so damn fedup with myself, Idecided to dosomething more productive.
Like get laid.
I wasn’t proud of my juvenile decision, but honestly it was the only way I felt like I could cope with the fact that the man I wanted more than anyone or anything in the world, the same one who told me thatIcouldn’tlove him, now loved me. Now that I was across the country,moving on.
I didn’t want to think about Ben anymore. I didn’t want to think about Jess anymore. I just wanted to forget that they existed for like a millisecond.
So I took the train back into the city, found a barthatwas in that perfect sweet spot between dive and bougie, took a seat and just waited.
That was my plan. Whoever approached me first, ifI was attractedto them, then it was on. I didn’t even give a fuck; girl, guy, whatever. I just needed a hot body to take away all these feelings. They were way too much for me to bear.
And sure enough, ten minutes into my excursion,I was approached by a gorgeous blonde with big, obviously fake tits.So I guess this is happening…
Thegirl’spick-up line was that she lived right around thecorner,which I actuallyappreciated, although I didn’t want to make it a wholething… I would have preferred a random bathroom hook-up, but she looked a little too classy for that.
She wasclearlyolder than me, probably around Jess’s age, though she looked older than Jessica, which didn’t say much. Jess looked like she was still in her twentiesanyway.
Wow, really? You’re going tothink about them this whole time?? What’s the fucking point then?
Forcing my mind to switch off as I played the game with the woman, I flirted and bought her a drink, both of us killing them fast sothatwe could bounce. She brought me around the corner to her insanely nice apartment in the downtown high-rise, all the while telling me about her divorce like I really gave a fuck.
I knew I was coming off like a chauvinistic dick-wad, but I couldn’t help myself. I just needed it to be purely physical. A distraction from the chaos going on inside me.
Once securely inside her million-dollar apartment, likely a parting gift fromher wealthy ex-husband, she came at me like an animal. Kissing me all over, touching my chest and my stomach, my ass. She wasclearlyhorny as fuck, and I was unprepared.
No fucking clue what I’m doing.
“What’s your name?” She asked while tonguing my earlobe, holding my hand on one of her overly firm tits.
“Ryan,” I grunted, plopping down on the nearest piece of furniture, a couch, and bringing her with me. “Yours?”
“Kelly,” she purred, sliding down the straps of her dress to let the breasts free. They weregiant. I had never seen fake boobs, or reallyanyboobs, so big before in my life.
Kelly climbed on top of me, straddling my waist and pushing me down horizontal as she licked and kissed all over my neck and throat, yanking my shirt up over my head. Her lips trailed down my chest, tongue gliding through every sinew of the muscles in my torso until she reached my pants. Theywere undoneand tugged down in record time, and then my semi-hard cock was in her mouth so fast it was like she was trying to win a raceof some kind.
God, what is going on?? This is all happening so fast… I don’t even really want to do this. Why am I doing this again?
Oh right, Ben loves me.
Fuck.
Her tongue swirled around the head of my cock before she sucked the rest of me between her parted lips, deep-throating like shefuckinginvented it. It felt good, in an obvious kind ofway, but my dick was hardening more at the memory of Ben’s letter…
