Page 30 of Brainwashed
Of course Dash is stunning. I pictured him that way. Plus, his voice and his awesome personality… It figures he’d be perfect with the face and body of a sexy Russian angel.
Biting my lip as we shuffle to the East through the long corridor, my mind sticks on memories of a time in the cafeteria, when I think I may have seen Dash before. But I’m distracted from my reverie when instead of putting me back in the padded cell, the guard shoves me into the one of the exam rooms. He goes through the process of uncuffing me, then lacing me back up in a new straitjacket before removing the shackles and leaving. I listen to him as he stomps away, sighing out my defeat and plopping down on the floor.
Resting my head on the wall, my thoughts twist and turn through it all… The Ivory, his words, a new doctor… Dash.
I knock on the wall. “O’Malley?”
Silence.Maybe he’s not in there.I don’t remember seeing him when we walked by, but then I was pretty distracted.
I sift through my thoughts for about an hour before I hear the footsteps I’ve begun to associate with pain and irritation. And sure enough, in strolls Dr. Johansson and Dr. Templeton. Here to ruin my mood.
Before they even say anything, I mutter, “Can we not? Please? I’m tired…”
I’m just so damn exhausted. Too tired to struggle against whatever bullshit they want to do to me now. Too tired to even say any more words.
“I understand, Felix, but this is pertinent research,” Johansson says. “The Warden is very impressed with our findings so far.”
This time I have to glance up at him. He really doesn’t look evil or sinister at all. I honestly think that in his mind, he believes everything he’s doing to me is great. He seems eager to please, but it’s clearly not me he wants to impress. It must be The Ivory.
Or maybe it’s that new fancy doctor who’s coming…
The two of them get me up and force open my mouth. My fight kicks in just enough as I struggle against them. And fucking Johansson says, “Patient seems agitated,” like a real idiot, as Templeton injects something under my tongue.
I expect to fall asleep right away, but that’s not what happens.
The two of them leave me alone after that. For a half-hour, I just sit in the cell and stare at nothing, wondering what’s about to happen to me. The waiting is like a torture on its own… I have no clue what they’ve injected me with, but my mind is running wild with ideas.
I’m growing more paranoid by the minute… Until I begin to feel strange.
My limbs grow heavy and my vision blurs… The air turns into waves.
Oh, God… fuck this.
Now, I’m not a drug-doer. It’s just not my thing, and it never has been. Someone gave me something that I think was MDMA once at a club, and I hated it. I don’t like being unable to control myself. My emotions, my instincts, my urges. If I can’t control them, then who knows what I’ll do?
That said, it becomes clear to me very quickly when I start laughing at nothing that they’ve drugged me.
And then I freak the fuck out.
Because it’s one thing to be drugged against your will, but it’s a whole other being laced up in a straitjacket while you’re tripping balls.
I begin screaming, though I can’t recognize my voice or figure out what I’m saying. I spend hours pacing around the room, banging my head against the wall and the door, to no avail. I talk to myself for a while, then I talk to O’Malley through the wall, even though he’s not there.
Maybe I’m talking to Dash?
I’m paranoid as hell, convinced they’re watching me through hidden cameras. The trip is long, and persistent, and it seems to drone on.
Finally,finally, I’m able to fall asleep, but only for a couple of scattered hours. I wake up to Claude bringing me a sandwich and water, which I scarf down like an animal.
I know it hasn’t been all that long, I suppose, in the grand scheme of time, but I’m already so sick of being toyed with. I can only hope this new fancy doctor they’re sending in will be better than this.
Or maybe he’ll just have some different tricks up his sleeve to poke and prod the psychopath.
Felix Harmon Darcey
Age: Seventeen
Location: Brooklyn, NY
