Page 70 of Brainwashed
Johansson’s lips quirk. “There is so very much we hope to gain from this, Doctor. Felix’s crimes were of a sexual nature, and we would love to understand how his brain reacts to sexual stimulations, then work the violent acts into that—”
“His crimes weren’t of a sexual nature, per se…” I mumble over him, gaze narrowing in his direction, before I glare at Templeton once more.
My eyes move hesitantly over to the projector screen. The hairs on the back of my neck stand up, and I blink myself back into focus.
When I look again at Johansson, he’s making a face like he’s dying to ask what I meant by that. But he won’t, because he knows I’m not going to share my research. The things I’ve learned from Felixwithouthaving to insert things inside him like a common rapist.
I bite down on the inside of my cheek until I taste blood.
“Be that as it may,” Johansson goes on, “Felix is a special case, as I’m sure you know.”
“Yes,” I grunt pointedly, “Idoknow that.”Much more than you quacks.
Johansson gapes at me for a second before continuing. “So you understand that we must leave no stone unturned. We’re working on many things we can’t wait to explore with him. There’s this machine I procured, like something of a sono—”
“Doctor, with all due respect,” I interrupt, and lean forward on the desk, pushing myself to ignore Felix having an orgasm in my peripheral, “these things are all well and good, as long as they don’t interfere with my research. Keep frying the brains of those other subjects all you want, but I’m going to have to put my foot down when it comes to anything that could affect him mentally. Felix Darcey’s mind is what holds the answers to our questions. If you wipe him clean, like doing a hard reset or something, then we’re left with something regular.Boring. And none of us want that… Especially Manuel Blanco.”
I give them a knowing look after throwing out The Ivory’s name, because he is the one in charge of all this. He’s the ringmaster here, and he brought me in to work on Felix. I know these men are permanent here, but they’re essentially just tools to the trade. I respect the research, and of course the out-of-the-box methods, but not when it could impede my work.
Johansson stares me down for a moment, blank-faced, before briefly looking to Templeton, who simply blinks at me. My gaze flicks briefly to the screen where Felix is dazed and huffing in his post-coital state, being redressed by the orderly.
I remember watching him in the shower, his movements jerky and hesitant at first. But then, when he was drying off, he turned to stare at me, unashamed. Those are the two halves of Felix Darcey. The insecure part with severe daddy issues, craving love and affection without the slightest clue how to get it. And then The Carver. Controlling and possessive, desperate to give Felix what he wants.
That’s what these people will never understand. Every case is different, and with someone like Felix, the best way to get into his head is to be what he wants.
“You know, Dr. Love, we’ve read your books,” Johansson says. My head tilts. “All of them.”
Ah. So that’s what this is about.
They understand my fascination with unorthodox medical practices, because they readBeneficial Brainwashing. And they’re trying to impress me with all of this experimentation.
I must admit, I’m flattered. Though I’m still not sure how they would know it was me who wrote it…The Ivory probably told them.
“Well then, if that’s the case, then surely you’ll see exactly what I mean here,” I retort. “Things like electroshock therapy, the trans-orbital, and if we’re going there, depatterning and repatterning would be like blasphemy on a patient like Felix. There is no cure for what he is. No reason to attempt reshaping him. All we can do is study him and learn.”
Johansson’s face shifts. His eyebrows jump behind his spectacles and he looks impressed. When I glance at Templeton, he doesn’t. He’s back to reading his files, as if this conversation is beneath him.
My jaw clenches, teeth grinding together.I do not like this fool.
“Point well made, Doctor.” Johansson nods. “We’re here to learn from you, after all.”
I can’t help but scoff. “Please. You have decades on me.” Johansson waves off my compliment, which is genuine, regardless of what I think about him personally. He’s an underground rock star in the field of outlawed psychological research practices. “I just mean, where Felix is concerned, this is my show. And so, yes, I will join you for experiments in the future. But I would like them to be cleared with me first. No more surprising him in the middle of the night. I’ve just begun to get him comfortable and you’re kind of ruining it.”
Johansson nods. “Right. Yes, of course. It won’t happen again.”
I stand up, because I’m done with this little meeting. Plus, I planned to see Felix in the morning today, and for some reason I have this itching desire to get into session right now.
Johansson stands, and Figueroa, who I’d honestly forgotten was here, rushes over. The both of them shake my hand, and when I turn to Templeton, he simply peeks up at me one last time and nods, before returning to his reading.
Prick.
I spin away without another word, going for the door. Johansson’s voice calls to my back, “We’ll be in touch, Dr. Love!”
But I just wave him off, leaving his office and stalking the winding corridors back to mine. My head seems to be all stuffy with many congesting thoughts. But my primary need is to get Felix into my office right away. I’m not going to mention the experiment I just witnessed, but I have this strong desire to just sit with him, and see if he alludes to it… what happened to him.
I won’t say that I don’t feel protective of him, because clearly I do. This knee-jerk reaction to check on him tells me I’m possessive and concerned for his well-being. But I also know that it’s not out of the realm of possibility for me to feel this way about a patient. I’m sure if some asshole doctor started trying to experiment on Trevel without my permission, it would piss me off.
Though that’s sort of happening now… Since he’s been left in Callahan’s hands.
