Page 77 of Brainwashed
Thinking about it makes me itchy inside.
I remember what I told Dr. Love earlier… About how I felt like the experiments were being used to modify me. But I don’t need to be fixed. I don’twantto be.
The world needs people like us. The evil to balance out the good. The monsters under their beds, thefear. Fear is important, after all. It reminds us that we’re alive.
Humanity needs to condemn the wicked to feel like they’re in control and make themselves the hero. It’s fine. I’ve accepted my part in this.
I’m the bad guy. I can’t be fixed, and neither can Kieran O’Malley.
At that moment, his hands slide off his face, and he looks up.
The expression he’s wearing is actually pretty funny. He looks confused as hell that I’m standing outside of his cell. I give him a quick brow raise as if to as,May I?Though I’m obviously not waiting for him to give me permission. And I use the key to unlock the door. Wouldn’t you know… It’s the same one that opened my door.
One key for all these doors… Isn’t that foolhardy?
Opening it, I meander inside and close it behind me, leaning up against it for a second while I bask in this position. My pulse is jumping in anticipation, saliva gathering in my mouth at a rapid rate.
I’m thirsty, Kieran.
“What the fuck are yeh doing here?” he asks, standing up slowly.
“I came to visit you.” I grin at him, my fingers twitching at my sides.
He narrows his gaze, but doesn’t respond. I hold up the keys for a second, jingling them before tossing them into the corner of the cell. His eyes move with them, then they come back to mine. He takes a step toward them, but so do I, blocking him.
“What do yeh want, psycho?” he breathes, puffing himself up a bit, like he’s trying to show me that he could easily defend himself against me.
I’m sure he can, but it won’t matter. I’m not leaving this room without getting what I came for.
“I just wanted to tell you that I get it.” I take a step forward.
“Get what?” He huffs, brow creased in his state of confusion.
“Iunderstandhow you feel.” I keep talking, calmly, while taking another step closer.
“You don’t understand shit,” he hisses. “Get the fuck out of my cell before I fuck yeh up.”
I drift forward once more. There are only a few feet separating us. “No, Ido, Kieran. I know how it feels to be confused by what you’ve done. To feel for a moment like there’s no possible way you could have done it.”
His face sort of drops, his mask of rage slipping just an inch.
“You don’t know what yer talking about,” he mutters. “I’m nothing like you.”
Those words tickle my stomach, and a rush of excitement pumps inside my chest like adrenaline. I stroll even closer.
“But youdiddo it, Kieran,” I go on. “You know you did. And so, you can be like the rest of them… The other boring, delusional ones who maintained their innocence until the end. Who never owned up to who they are… who weallare. Or you can fucking admit it.” I sidle up to him, close enough that our toes are touching. “You’re a killer, Kieran. And you like it.”
“Shut the fuck up,” he growls in my face, anger bubbling, swirling up with his denial in a way that visibly takes over his features. His eyes are dark, pale skin shadowed with lines of hatred.
“You killed your brother,” I whisper with my face inches from his. “Timmy. You murdered him and you hid his body for four days.”
I can see his jaw clenching, feel the wrath pouring off of him in waves.
But I keep pushing. “And you can rationalize it in your head. You do it all day every day, don’t you? He wasbotheringyou… He wouldn’t stop crying or whining, or you werejealousof the attention he got…”
He flinches. “No. No, Ididn’t—”
“Or maybe he found out something about you… saw something he wasn’t supposed to see.” I keep prodding, egging him on with my words. “I mean, he was young, but still. You couldn’t take that chance. You couldn’t let him tell people what you did…”
