Page 135 of For the Fans
He squints down at her. “WhyRobin?”
“Because she’s my sidekick,” I tell him. He peeks at me. “I’m Batman.”
A laugh bubbles out of him, and I feel like the inside of my chest is on fire. “Cute. Is one of Batman’smovesto leave hickeys all over his enemies? I don’t remember reading that in any of the comics…”
I didn’t know he read Batman… Interesting.
Chuckling, I tilt my head at him. “Could be one way to defeat you…”
“And which villain am I?”
Curling my fingers around his hip, I lean in to his ear. “I’d say you’re Mr. Freeze… Because you’reice cold.”
He swallows, and I melt our warm flesh together, kissing his neck slowly while he whispers, “Am I…?”
“Not always.” My hand runs up his chest. But before I can continue with my shameless attempts at getting him to stay, he pulls away.
“I have to go, Avi.” He gives me a look like he’s not really sure if hewantsto, and it’s starting to rip me up a little.
I just nod—it’s all I can do—as he wanders back into the bathroom, getting dressed quickly.
On his way out the door, he stops to look over his shoulder. His eyes drop to the cat, and he says, “Bye, Robin.” Then he aims those pretty orbs of awed hazel at me and whispers, “Bye, Batman.”
S4int_d1ck: You be Santa. I’ll be the elf helping empty your sac.
BigDickBritBoy: @Backwardz_Cap @Not_Your_Baby Wanna collab? You both look like hard workers and I have two openings you can fill
Sooo…
I spent the afternoon doing something I never in a million years could have predicted I’d dowillingly…
I gave myself an enema.
Okay, before you judge me, just let me explain.
I was on Twitter, checking comments from the fans.Engaging, so on and so forth, per Avi’s request. But then my curiosity won out, and I started checking the accounts of other OnlyFans creators, just to see what they do and what they’re like online. If there are things I could maybe… learn from them. It was likeresearch.
One thing led to another, and the next thing I knew, I’d fallen into a gay rabbit hole on Tumblr. I somehow wound up reading posts by gay dudes—specifically bottoms—who were describing their…regimens, for lack of a better word that makes this seem less bizarre.
I don’t want to admit that reading this stuff made me feel like a total noob… But it did. So I decided to take some mental notes on how to make sure I never embarrass myself in front of Avi. Because he’s my partner.
Mybusinesspartner, I mean.That’s it.
I’m not doing it for him, I’m doing it for myself. And the Fans.
I snuck off to the drugstore, incognito, with a hat pulled down so low over my face I could barely see as I purchased everything I needed. Then I waited for Guty to leave, and proceeded to spend hours in the bathroom, grooming my…undercarriage, if you will, and giving myself an intentional saline enema.
No, it was not pretty, andno, I don’t wish to discuss the details any further.
Suffice it to say, I’ll be going into my next sexual encounter with my stepbrother prepared. It’s all part of the lifestyle, I guess. And bylifestyle, I mean that of a gay porn content creator.
None of this is stuff I ever envisioned myself doing, but I’m really trying my hardest to dart past the hang-ups and admit that I enjoy working with Avi. I mean, the videos speak for themselves. Sex with him is epically better than any I’ve had before… And while I’m still wrestling with what that means exactly, for my identity, I think getting paid massive amounts of money to have mind-boggling orgasms is enough of a motivator for me to stuff down my inner doubts and insecurities as best I can.For now.
Outside of the business, things with me and Avi are still a little weird, and I’m not sure if they ever won’t be. After all, how do you go through the kinds of things we’ve been experiencing together and not form some type of attachment? He sees a side of me that no one else has ever seen before, and as much as I want to keep hating him, because I feel like Ishould, I can’t help that the resentment is slowly wearing off.
I’m starting to feel like the attention from the fans is just a bonus… And the real attention I’m craving is from the one person I always told myself I hated.
It’s extremely concerning, for a lot of different reasons, the main one being that this was never supposed to be about me and Avi. It’s supposed to be aboutmoney, plain and simple. But the other night, it didn’t dawn on me until I was back in my own dorm, in bed and trying desperately to fall asleep, that we’d been filming the whole thing.
