Page 147 of For the Fans
“Does that make you happy?” he asks quietly.
Yes.“No. I mean, I don’tcare…” I grumble. “I’m not going to hook up with other guys… Because this is just about… the money.” I gulp out the words. His eyes are wide as I mumble, “Right?”
Avi is quiet for another few deafening seconds, during which I canfeelthe air in the room, like a shower of pelting rain coming down on us. I don’t know what any of this means. All I know is that it doesn’t feel like a business discussion anymore…
Is it even for the fans??
He shakes himself out of something, finally muttering, “Yea. Of course.”
My lips part, but he jumps off the bed before I can say anything, rushing toward the bathroom and calling out, “I’m just gonna clean up real quick, then you can take a shower. Or whatever you wanna do…”
“Okay…” I mutter.
And as soon as the bathroom door closes, I flop onto my back, staring up at the ceiling once more.
This room is exactly the same…
But I’m not.Not even close.
SensitiveSwitch: Better to be an open sinner than a false saint.
Top_ofthe_mornin_toya: Not_Your_Baby if you ever need a new door mat, @ me. I swear I am very comfortable to step on
Twinkerbell: If anyone ever asks why I’m queer I’m sending them this video
After I’m done showering—without wetting my hair, because I don’t want it toappearthat I’ve showered, in order to spare myself from having to potentially answer questions aboutwhyI showered—Avi is nowhere to be found.
I assume he’s hanging out with his mom, and when I slowly march back downstairs, stowing the awkwardness as best I can, I find that I’m right. Hannah and Avi are in the kitchen, sorting through Chinese takeout containers, grabbing plates and silverware. I’m not sure where my father is, but it’s probably safe to assume he’s off somewhere sipping whiskey and trying his best not tocompletelyembody Ebenezer Scrooge.
Puttering around the corner into the kitchen, I linger by the doorway until Hannah peeks up at me and smiles. My eyes shift to Avi for just a moment, and he glances up at me, his lipscurving into a soft grin before he purses it away, busying himself with setting up the food.
“Can I just say how happy I am to see you two getting along?” Hannah’s voice chimes, tearing me out of my self-loathing long enough to focus on what she’s saying. “I always hoped you boys would finally start acting like brothers at some point.”
Avi drops a fork, making a loud clank on the floor. “Sorry…” he mutters in a jittery tone that Hannah doesn’t seem to notice.
I rush over and bend to pick up the fork, but he’s already down there grabbing it. Our eyes lock, and I notice even more uncertainty shining in the grayish blue, concerning me just a tad.
I’musually the bumbling moron when it comes to our secret fling, not him.
“Be cool,bro…” I whisper to him before we both stand up, and he nods fast.
“Yea,” I mumble, responding to Hannah in an attempt to normalize this unnerving situation. “Having Avi on the team has been fun.”
He cocks a dark eyebrow at me, and my shoulder jerks in a subtle shrug.
“I’m so proud of you for working so hard at that job, Aviel.” Hannah rubs his back. Then she looks to me. “How have you been managing financially, Ky? Is everything alright? Because I’ve been working a lot more lately, so if you need some cash—”
“Not necessary at all.” I shake my head, extending her an appreciative grin for even offering to share what little she has with me. “I’m fine. But thank you.”
She smiles. “I can’t believe you’ve found a way to balance work with schoolandyour games. You’re like Superman!” She chuckles, and I grin awkwardly, pinching the back of my neck.
Please don’t ask how I’ve been making money… I literally can’t think of any fake job that would make sense right now.
“He’s not Superman, he’s Mr. Freeze.” Avi smirks, and I squint at him.
“Yea, well… as it turns out, Coach was able to help me get my grants to cover everything,” I lie, fiddling with things on the counter. “So I only really need money for, like, food and stuff.”
Hannah nods. “And you’ve been okay… with all of that?”
