Page 188 of For the Fans
What does she expect me to do?? Run over there, pull Ash off my stepbrother… Make a fucking scene in front of everyone to prove once and for all that this ache in my chest whenever I’m around him is real?? That every time I look at him, my stomach flips and my skin buzzes and no matter how hard I’ve tried to push it away and pretend like it’s not there, it just seems to be getting fuckingstronger, to the point where I feel like pieces of my anatomy are missing when I’m not with him…
I can’t do that.Because who even knows what that stuff means, anyway…
“Where’s Theo?” I distract myself with meaningless words, spinning around to get my stupid eyes away from that stupid couch where all that dumb shit I don’t care about is happening.
“I think he left with someone…” Guty tugs on my arm. “’Who do you think I should hook up with tonight?”
“Dude, I don’t care,” I slur, eyelids drooping. “Hook up with whoever you want.” I shoot a forced smirk at him. “Who do you thinkIshould hook up with tonight?”
Guty chuckles, pinching my cheeks while I fight him off. “You know you can hook up with whoever you want.”
“I need to hook up with someonenew…” I rasp, barely even aware of what I’m saying. “I need to fuck away the last one.”
“Who…? Lexi?”
Grunting in lieu of an actual response, my eyes land on these two girls dancing. Their tits are all rubbing together and whatnot, and I start chewing on the inside of my cheek.
That totally used to do something for me… Didn’t it?
I could’ve sworn I really liked it before…
“Whoa! Hello…” Guty shouts next to my face, and I cringe. “Look at this…”
I assume he’s talking about the girls grinding on each other, and I nod, blinking heavily as I wait for my dick to remember that he likes girls.
“Man, I didn’t know your stepbrother played for both teams.” Guty chuckles.
My face swings in his direction. “What…?”
Muscles all over my body are stiffening in unease as he nods across the room. Following his gaze, my stomach falls so fast it’s like I was just shoved out of an airplane.
Avi…My chest caves, crushing my heart between my ribs as my eyes widen.
Avi is kissing Ash… Or Ash is kissing Avi. Whatever…howeverit’s happening, it’s happening. They’re fuckingkissing.
No…
I’m fuckingbleedinginside. My body is splitting down the middle, like I’m being violently bisected with rusty tools.
I can’t move. I can’t breathe. I’m just stuck here, in purgatory, staring on as Ash Holloway’s stupid bitch fingers slide up Avi’s neck into his hair, and he sucks and bites on Avi’s lips.
Those lips… I… I thought they were… for me.
I’m about to fucking fall to my knees because I just can’t keep my body upright anymore. The red solo cup is being gripped so hard in my fist, it cracks, and liquor spills down my arm.
Guty laughs and whoops. “Get some, Av!”
“No…” I whimper, then clear my throat. “No.” Tossing the cup onto the floor, I growl, “No. No, no, no.Fuckthat.”
Can’t watch. Can’t let this happen.
I stomp in their direction, but Guty grabs my arm, chuckling, “Yo, what are you doing??”
“I’m gonna fucking kill that asshole,” I seethe, gasping at the sight of Avi trying to pull away from the kiss.
He’s pulling away. He doesn’t want it.
Too bad it’s already been going on forwaytoo many seconds.
