Page 265 of For the Fans
He peeks at me over his shoulder. “I’m like… stupidly in love with you.”
“Baby… I’m fuckingmoronicallyin love with you.” I kiss his lips while he chuckles. “Are you hungry?” He nods, rubbing his ass on my crotch. “Forfood, Kyran.”
“Oh, yea. I’m starving,” he snickers.
“Okay… How about I take you on a date?”
He spins in my arms. “Our first official date?!”
“Fuck yea.”
He tugs on the brim of my backwards cap. “Well alright, then.Spoilme, Backwardz Avi.”
Cupping his jaw, I kiss his lips softly. “Anything for you, Only My Baby.”
Hours later, we return to Brighton from the best first date ever, hands still clasped, stomachs as full as our hearts.
We had dinner at Chow Down, and damn near closed the place we were in there for so long, talking about everythingunder the sun, catching each other up on all that happened while we were apart.
I can even voice how proud I am of Kyran for starting counseling and confronting his parents. And the shock of how things turned out with Tom was definitely the biggest surprise of the evening.
I love a good redemption story, and it seems like Tom is on his way to one, which makes me really happy. I’m sure there was more to the deterioration of his relationship with my mother, so it’s not like I want them to try to work it out or anything. From what Kyran was telling me, his dad has his own soul-searching to do, and I think my mother will eventually find someone more like my dad to make her happy.
I know divorce sucks, especially after only a few years. But the marriage wasn’t a waste of time, not by a long-shot. Because if they’d never gotten together, I never would’ve met Kyran…
A perfect roll in this cosmic game we call life.
“I still can’t believe you haven’t smoked at all since before the Rose Bowl,” Kyran says while we’re lying in my bed, his head resting over my heart and my fingers in his hair. “You know I never actually hated your smoking, right?”
“No, I know,” I tell him while he plays with my hand, tracing lines on my palm. “I just think I was relying too heavily on it. It’s never good to lean on substances for anything.”
“That’s very wise, angel,” he says, focusing on one line in particular.
“Which street is that?” I ask him softly.
He peeks up at me. “It’s our street. Summer Street.” He runs his fingertip over it. “This is where I met you for the first time… Where I thought I hated you, when really, I… secretly liked you.” I grin, and he bites his lip. “This is where you found me on Christmas Eve… When you brought me my coat and held me close to you.” His eyes hold mine, and I can feel everythinghe’s confessing through those orbs of gold and green. “That was where I realized that I was falling for you… I wouldn’t have admitted it at the time. But that night, I knew something had shifted. We weren’t doing it for the fans anymore… if we ever even were to begin with. That night, it felt like a switch flipped in me, and I wasn’t terrified of my feelings for you anymore.”
I blink at him, breathing in these words he’s speaking.
“I was still scared of my past, yes. I was scared of what I thought it might mean, me falling in love with a guy. Because of everything…” His voice trails, and I nod, stroking his hair in calming brushes. “But I wasn’t afraid of how good you made me feel anymore. I wanted so muchmoreof it. And it reminded me of when I was a kid…”
Kyran presses a kiss on my palm. “I wanna share some things with you, Avi… Because I know you won’t be afraid of it, and it won’t make you love me any less. Iknowthat now.”
“Nothing about you or what you’ve been through would ever make me love you any less, baby,” I whisper, and he nods.
“But when I tell you, I want you to beAviabout it,” he murmurs, and my brow furrows.
“What does that mean?”
He chuckles. “I just mean… don’t treat me any differently. Don’t ever tiptoe around me, or coddle me with words. You’re not a counselor, you’re my boyfriend, and I love you for the way you are. So when I tell you stuff, I want you to just beyou. Make jokes, be sarcastic and goofy.Please… just don’t pity me.”
It hurts my heart that he even needs to say this to me, but I understand where he’s coming from. Pushing his sandy hair from where it’s flopping over his forehead, I nod in agreement.
“I promise, I would never pity you, baby. I mean, I’m not sure how much I’ll want to be joking about what you’re going to tell me, but I would never treat you any differently. You’reKyran,my first love. The only person who’s ever been to my abandoned amusement park.”
He laughs, his body shaking on top of mine and wiggling my toes with delight.
“This amusement park doesn’t seem so creepy and run-down, by the way,” he teases. “You made it seem like it would be much scarier than it is.”
