Page 82 of For the Fans
“Oh, hell no.” I shake my head. “Absolutely not.”
“Whyyy?” She pouts.
“Because he’s the Eagles kicker! He’s one of Kyran’s best friends, and it’ll be in Kyran’sbuilding. There’s no way… I will not invite disaster like that.”
Frankie tugs my sleeve over and over. “But it’ll be fun! We’re all going.”
“Don’t care.” I stand firm in my decision. “I’m not going to a party with a bunch of football players, aka my stepbrother’s friends, to watch them do keg stands and make out with girls.”
She shoots me a knowing sneer of a look. “Sothat’swhy you don’t want to go… Because you’re afraid your secret hook-up buddy will be there with his cheerleader girlfriend…”
“Okay, first of all, she’s not his girlfriend.” My jaw clenches while Frankie tilts her head and smirks. “Second of all, I don’t care… And third of all…” My voice trails off in my state of fluster. “Whatever. It doesn’t matter… I’m just not going. And why the hell would you guys want to go to their party anyway?? Football players are beyond lame.”
“Bea wants to hook up with Theo.” Frankie shrugs.
Huffing, I rub my eyes. Bea has been crushing on Theo since last year. They make out on occasion, sort of casually, but I knowBea, wily little thing that she is, is itching to get him naked. I can’t say I don’t get it… Theo is pretty hot.
But that’s off topic. And how come the only guys I’m registering ashotare football players??
My thoughts are spiraling. The point is that I donotwant to intentionally put myself in the same shared space with Kyran, especially after what we’ve done together.
Usaloneis dangerous… With people around? It’s a recipe for destruction.
“You can’t avoid him forever, Avi,” Frankie’s voice chimes into my obsessing. “You go to the same school. If you guys are going to keep up this clandestine side-hustle, you’ll need to learn how to coexist without it being awkward.” She nudges me while I consider her words. “I mean, think about your next family gathering! Aren’t you both going home for Christmas?”
Ugh… fuck me. I hadn’t even thought of that.
I guess I was gifted Thanksgiving dinner without Kyran. Who knows what it would have been like if he was there…
Frankie has a point, which irritates me.Gorging myself on Chinese food and watching TV would be so much less involved…
“Alright,fine…” I mumble, and she jumps around in celebration. “I’llconsiderit! No promises…”
“Lovely.” Frankie kisses me on the cheek, immediately darting away toward the train. But she peeks over her shoulder to call out, “Make sure you look hot! Gotta impress your secret boyfriend…” She winks, and I’m seething.
“I don’t fucking—” I shout after her, but she’s already gone as I sigh the word, “care.”
It’s true. Idon’tcare about impressing Kyran, and I know she’s just fucking with me. But for some reason, my nerves are swinging inside me. And my hands are sweating.
Biting my lip, I turn and stalk back in the direction of my dorm.
God, what the fuck am I gonna wear??
This is a bad idea.
That fact hasn’t changed throughout the entire course of the last few hours, while I was smoking, and showering, and smoking and getting dressed, and smoking again while standing in front of the mirror, assessing my choice of wardrobe.
I settled on my favorite black boots, ripped black jeans, and a red-and-black flannel button-down. My hair is mussed up, just the way I like it, and my nails are freshly painted, the standard black I always use.
Except thatnow,all I can think of is Kyran’s comment the last time I saw him.
I really don’t care that he noticed it… I’ve been painting my nails black for years. But now that he said something, I can’t stop hearing his words every time I look at them.
Myanti-establishment image… Pfft. What a sheep.
Although, I guess maybe that is why I started doing it…
Goddamn him. He ruins everything.
