Page 159 of Fragments
“I’m not gonna forget what happened, Warren.” He shrugs, wearing a sad expression that melts the amusement off my face. I hate myselfepicallyfor that look alone. “It’s too bad, really. But this is the harsh reality. You’re incapable of loving anyone but yourself.”
My head shakes. “That’s not true. I loveyou.”
“You don’t,” he grunts. “You love theideaof me.”
“Sorry, I didn’t realize we were in a Nancy Meyers movie…” I roll my eyes. He goes quiet for a moment while I chew the inside of my cheek, staring down at my hands. “I just don’t want you to hate me…”
I’m afraid to look at him, but he’s not saying anything. So I slowly bring my eyes to his. They’re round and full of a lot of heavy stuff. Stuff that might not even be all about me.
“I don’t think I’m capable of hating you,” he whispers. “Which is really unfortunate for me…”
I nod, feeling marginally better. Which also makes me feel worse, because it just goes to show how good he is for me, and how fucking tragic it is that I’ll probably never get to have him.
“Let’s just stay friends,” he breathes. “Can we befriendsat least, without you torturing me all the time?”
I purse my lips. “I’ll try, baby…”
“No morebaby, Ren,” he mutters. “We have to be friendsonly. That’s it. Otherwise, we can’t talk anymore.”
I know for a fact I’m incapable of just being his friend. But I’m also incapable of being what he needs in a partner.It’s the Hoe-bag Catch 22.
So I just exhale, keeping myself as calm as possible while I nod. “Whatever you want, Lex. I’ll be your friend, then.”
He blinks over wide, hopeful eyes. “Promise?”
There’s so much riding on that one-worded question, it’s beyond overwhelming. But again, there’s no alternative. This is the only way I get to stay around him. AndIneed that.
Swallowing down my uncertainties, I mumble, “If I have to… then I’ll do it.”
“Well, you don’thaveto…” His gaze falls to the space between us.
“No. Ido. I told you I’d be whatever you want me to be. And if that means friends, then I guess we’re… friends.”
He doesn’t appear convinced in the slightest, but he definitely looks happier than he was a moment ago.So that’s something.“Okay, then…” He exhales slowly.
I lean in a little, running my fingers gently up his arm. “Friends who touch…?”
He squints at me. But he doesn’t move away. “No. Just regular friends.”
It’s going in one ear and out the other. Because if there’s one thing I know about Lexington, it’s that when it comes to me, sometimes his words are as meaningless as mine.
I think he knows damn well I’m never going to stop trying. I’m way too stubborn and obsessive. And he’d never admit it, but I think he likes being chased.
Scooting in even closer on the bench seat, until his body is between my legs, I brush my lips along that yummy spot on his neck; the one that’s about as soft as a marshmallow and just as sweet.
“Friends who kiss… here?”
Before I can kiss, he pulls back. “You obviously don’t know how friends act…”
“No, I guess I don’t.” I shrug, showing him a wicked grin.
He scowls at me. “Friends don’t kiss, Warren.”
God, he’s just so fucking cute.
“They can… if they want to,” I rumble, touching him some more, though he keeps backing away from it.
“Well, Idon’twant to,” he protests, standing firm, working me up even more.
